New Reality Show Asks: Whatever Happened to Brandy?

New Reality Show Asks: Whatever Happened to Brandy?

ABC announced today that it will be airing a new reality television show in March, entitled “Whatever...
Scientists Isolate Antipope; Mysteries of Pope Asymmetry Remain

Scientists Isolate Antipope; Mysteries of Pope Asymmetry Remain

The Large Popeon Collider (LPC) may soon find evidence of a "God particle" that could explain...
Colonial Hoses 90% of First Round Sign-Ins

Colonial Hoses 90% of First Round Sign-Ins

Colonial Hoses 90% of First Round Sign-Ins “We’re really sorry, man.  It was a really strong...
Designing the New Apple Tablet Computer

Designing the New Apple Tablet Computer

CONFIDENTIAL EMAIL EXCHANGE.  DO NOT RELEASE. —————————————————————- From:...

New Reality Show Asks: Whatever Happened to Brandy?

Entertainment — February 8, 2010 at 2:21 pm
ABC announced today that it will be airing a new reality television show in March, entitled “Whatever Happened to Brandy?”. The show consists of a group of 20-somethings who share an apartment/hot tub in Manhattan. Each week the group attempts to answer the question: what happened to the 90s television star and pop princess Brandy? The show is the brainchild of Executive Producer Larry Weinstein,...

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Politics

French Aristocracy Stages Post-emptive Strike on Bourgeoisie

French Aristocracy Stages Post-emptive Strike on Bourgeoisie
In what international commentators are describing as “petty,” “uncalled-for,” and “I don’t even… come on,...
Jan 7, 2010 14:56

Business

Our Advice For The Afghan Tourism Board: New Merch

Our Advice For The Afghan Tourism Board: New Merch
It’s been a tough couple years for Afghanistan’s tourism industry.  First the never-ending war, then the problems...
Jan 27, 2010 16:40

Entertainment

New Reality Show Asks: Whatever Happened to Brandy?

New Reality Show Asks: Whatever Happened to Brandy?
ABC announced today that it will be airing a new reality television show in March, entitled “Whatever Happened to Brandy?”....
Feb 8, 2010 14:21

Princeton

Colonial Hoses 90% of First Round Sign-Ins

Colonial Hoses 90% of First Round Sign-Ins
Colonial Hoses 90% of First Round Sign-Ins “We’re really sorry, man.  It was a really strong year, and I spoke...
Feb 4, 2010 11:53

Recent Articles

New Reality Show Asks: Whatever Happened to Brandy?

ABC announced today that it will be airing a new reality television show in March, entitled “Whatever Happened to Brandy?”. The show consists of a group of 20-somethings who share an apartment/hot tub in Manhattan. Each week the group attempts to answer the question: what happened to the...
February 8th, 2010 | Entertainment | Read More

Scientists Isolate Antipope; Mysteries of Pope Asymmetry Remain

The Large Popeon Collider (LPC) may soon find evidence of a "God particle" that could explain the pope-antipope asymmetry. CERN, FRANCE – An international team of researchers today announced the first-ever isolation of a sample of antipope, a rare substance predicted by current Pope Theory. ...
February 5th, 2010 | Sci/Tech | Read More

Colonial Hoses 90% of First Round Sign-Ins

Colonial Hoses 90% of First Round Sign-Ins “We’re really sorry, man.  It was a really strong year, and I spoke hard for you, but it just wasn’t to be.”  Alfred Blair ‘12 (name changed to protect his remaining scraps of self-esteem) had just been hosed from Colonial’s...
February 4th, 2010 | Princeton | Read More

Designing the New Apple Tablet Computer

CONFIDENTIAL EMAIL EXCHANGE.  DO NOT RELEASE. —————————————————————- From: Jonathan Ives, Chief Designer <ives@apple.com> To: Steve Jobs, CEO <jobs@apple.com> Dear...
January 27th, 2010 | Sci/Tech | Read More

Our Advice For The Afghan Tourism Board: New Merch

It’s been a tough couple years for Afghanistan’s tourism industry.  First the never-ending war, then the problems with opium, and then, to top it all off, their president looks like Sean Connery. So what’s a war-torn country to do?  Our advice: sell t-shirts.  For example:
January 27th, 2010 | Business | Read More

Archeological Dig in Firestone Library Turns up New Human Ancestor

Late last night, archaeologists working overtime in the recently discovered fifth basement of Firestone Library uncovered the preserved remains of several Princeton students who they believe to date back hundreds of years.  Their report, released today, details the specifics of their find. “With this...
January 17th, 2010 | Princeton | Read More

P Diddy to Join Fox News on New “Hannity and Combs”

NEW YORK, NY – Fox News announced this morning that the latest addition to its primetime lineup will include rapper Sean Combs. The rapper and political activist, better known to the public under one of his many aliases, including “Puff Daddy”, “Puffy”, and most recently “P Diddy,”...
January 12th, 2010 | Entertainment | Read More

French Aristocracy Stages Post-emptive Strike on Bourgeoisie

In what international commentators are describing as “petty,” “uncalled-for,” and “I don’t even… come on, man,” a remnant of French nobility staged an attack on what their spokesperson referred to as “the merchant class,” representing the first such act of aggression in over two...
January 7th, 2010 | Politics | Read More

Precocious In Princeton

It’s difficult to maintain high school relationships in college. As a freshman, I’m learning this the hard way. I had a girlfriend of a year at a school in Philadelphia, my hometown. So I suppose you can guess what I’m going to say next. That’s right. My girlfriend was injured in a freak gasoline...
January 4th, 2010 | Princeton | Read More

Makers of Novelty 2000’s New Years’ Glasses: “We’re fucked.”

NEW YORK – “What the hell!?  I can’t see out these damn things.  What am I going to do with six hundred thousand “2010″ sunglasses that don’t even fit over my eyes!?  Oh God, I’m ruined!” said Richard Sclafani, inventor of the hugely popular line of...
December 31st, 2009 | Business | Read More