In an unexpected turn of events, local roommate Keith Anderson declared that he had solved the dilemma of the characters in John Carpenter’s 1982 sci-fi horror film, The Thing. In a press conference delivered Wednesday night in his suite’s common…
There he goes. Neil Armstrong, the first man to walk on the moon in my last pair of clean underwear. Why does he get to be the first one anyway? The directors of NASA were all like well, it’s the…
Yesterday afternoon, Princeton fraternity Sigma Omega Kappa announced that they have officially become the first collegiate fraternity, or organization of any kind, to successfully land “a fricken dude on Mars.” Tiger managed to land an exclusive interview with SOK Rush Chair, Ted Callahan ‘17, to discuss the…
NASA announced Thursday the discovery of a new planet that, under the right circumstances, could viably support human life. However, as NASA’s report went on to reveal, this planet would be unable to support hip hop. And what kind of a life is that? The newly discovered…
Earlier this week, NASA probe 141-R made international news by successfully pinpointing the location of the first ever documented wormhole. The probe’s previously mundane mission to the moon, a routine visit mainly for purposes of sediment examination, took a turn for the strange upon the discovery of…