Year: 2010
After Long Spiritual Journey, Waldo Finds Self
The renowned world traveler, diver, astronaut, escape artist, and occasional time traveler known only to the world as…
Princeton Hipsters Far More Committed Than Once Thought
In an ironic twist, the latest eating club task force has found 100% of Tiger Inn’s newest members…
The Birth of Keystone Lite
In the beginning, God created beer. Â It mostly went downhill from there. Soon after He created beer, God…
Library Bag-checker Foils Heist Years in the Making
PRINCETON, NJ - At approximately 3:30pm last Wednesday, Princeton University junior Darren Matthews exited Firestone Library with a…
The Ten Commandments Writer’s Room
Uriel: Hail! Fellow Archangels! Champions of Paradise! Lieutenants of the Lord of creation! Gabriel: Can we drop the…
Where Did The Wu/Wilcox Mugs Go?
The Wu/Wilcox dining halls reportedly started off the year with 1300 mugs and now have only 64 remaining. …
Shakespeare Troupe Disbanded for Discrimination
PRINCETON – In accordance with University equal opportunity regulations, Dean of Undergraduate Students Kathleen Deignan has temporarily suspended…
For Rap, A Moral Leader Emerges
In today’s world of liberal propaganda and left-wing music, the modern supporter of traditional families and conventional values…
Toyota Recalls CERN Due To Particle Accelerator Malfunction
The Toyota Motor Company today announced it is expanding its recall of products with faulty accelerators to include…
How Lady Gaga Convinced Beyonce To Do The ‘Telephone’ Music Video
Lady Gaga: Hey, Beyonce. Beyonce: Are you Lady Gaga or a talking pile of bubble wrap? Â It is…
A Letter from the Robot Unicorn
Dear friends, I would like to thank you all so much for helping me make my wildest fantasies…
North Korea changes its currency to WoW gold
In a startling turn of events, North Korea has announced that it will be discontinuing use of its…