Year: 2010
Lizstomania: 10 Things The Author Can Do Better Drunk
Remember the lyrics to ‘Stand by Me’ to the melody of ‘Lean on Me’ Yell people’s names, or…
“Social Network” Inspires Dangerous New Fad
David Fincher, the director of the recent hit movie The Social Network, issued an official apology last Wednesday…
Confederate Civil War Reenactors Find Out South Lost War, Lose Will to Live
In a stunning display of political remonstration, several dozen men proclaiming to be soldiers of the Confederate States…
Four Dreams The Author’s Friends Insisted On Telling Him About
Well, so get this. I was in this paintball game, right? And the teams were me and Julianne…
A Letter to the Financial Aid Office: My Summer Earnings
I am writing to you about the $2,400 that I was expected to earn this summer pursuant my…
Snooki: The Reincarnation of Winston Churchill?
These wise, portly little figures have more in common than just a strong resemblance to the Cabbage Patch…
How I Would Use The Harry Potter Franchise
J.K. Rowling recently hinted to Oprah that she might consider writing more Harry Potter books. In the spirit…
Bhutan Acquires Thermonuclear Device; UN Scrambles To Find An Atlas
On Friday, King JigmeKhesarNamgyelWangchuck surprised the UN and the world when he revealed that the Kingdom of Bhutan…
The Life and Times of the Cannon Green Cannon
April 4, 1840- My word, the Princeton boys just buried me in a field behind that old hall…
Shyamalan to Direct Obama’s Presidency
In a move which seems calculated to alienate his already-shrinking fan base, President Barack Obama has hired director M.…
Top 10 Freshman Girl Fears, Answered
1. He’s only talking to me for my boobs. …True. But it could be worse. He could be…
Groundbreaking Judicial Opinion: Congress “Pansies” On Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
In a landmark judicial opinion, several district judges yesterday proclaimed that "Judges rule, politicians drool." District Judge Ronald…