Year: 2010
Why Living in an Action Movie Would Suck
Car chases. Beautiful love interests. Exotic locations, intense fight scenes, and snappy one-liners. Â No matter how you look…
Breaking News: Majority Of Americans To Be Relocated To ‘Reeducation’ Camps
President Obama announced this morning that, in the wake of the midterm elections, a staggering number of Americans—well…
Meet Your Newest Faculty Member: Professor Darth Vader
The university’s recent announcement of the hiring of Darth Vader to a position in the physics department has…
A List of 5 Biographies That Will Probably One Day Be Written About The Author
"The Only Failed Coup Is An Unattempted Coup: An Alex Moss Quotation Book" "An Unlikely Friendship: How Alex…
Disney Channel Airs Willow Smith’s “Whip My Hair”; Thousands of Children Hospitalized
Daughter of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith seemed to be following in their footsteps to fame…
Thank You For Coming To My Relapse Party
Everyone! Welcome! Please, scooch in close; I'm a little weak these days, and it's hard for me to…
NFL “Sickened” By Harrison Tackle; Considers Execution
NEW YORK -- Last Sunday, Pittsburgh outside linebacker James Harrison viciously tackled two members of the Cleveland Browns,…
Thirst for Knowledge, Hunger for BRAAIIINS – My Unlife as a Zombie at College
When the zombie apocalypse began, the first thought that came to my mind was “Ugh… this sucks.” My…
Forget 3D—What’s Next?
When Harry Potter abandons 3D only because of release dates, you know 3D's becoming seriously pedestrian. But look,…
Court Decision Allowing Gay Asians To Serve Openly in the Military Sparks Controversy
Washington DC– Federal Judge Virginia Phillips has granted a worldwide, immediate injunction prohibiting the Department of Defense's ban…
Stephen Hawking’s 10 Least Favorite Things
Star Trek: Deep Space 9 Anything coin-operated. Pulp. Racism. The Kardashians. Movies about sports. (In particular, 1988 baseball…