Year: 2009
U-Store Announces Expansion
In the face of the current economic crisis, the Princeton University Store has recently announced a diversification of…
FEMA’s New Children’s Stories
Last year, FEMA pulled their children's coloring book about 9/11 from their website after a public outcry drew…
Princeton Symposium to Encourage Interdisciplinary Approach to Alcoholism
Princeton University, home to thousands of brilliant minds from diverse intellectual backgrounds, is encouraging its students and faculty…
Annual Nobel Prizefighters’ Deathmatch Ends in Unprecedented Carnage
The 109th Nobel Prize ceremony's popular annual laureate reunion death match to the death and subsequent country club…
The Adventures of Protagacles
Tell me, O muse, of that resourceful man Protagacles who wandered far and wide after ravaging the sacred…
King of Pop’s Death Sparks Bloody War of Succession
Michael Jackson, the long-reigning King of Pop, has died, leaving behind a bankrupt estate, grieving subjects, and a…
Notes on Diversity: An Open Letter to President Tilghman
Dear President Tilghman, I was recently speaking with a prospective student about the process of applying to college,…
Superheroes: Where Are They Now?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: After a silent coup, they are overtaken by the Middle-Aged Naturally Selected Pirate Tortoises…
Spider-man 4 Script Leaked
Scene 1 Setting: Tobey Maguireās apartment. Our intrepid hero, Spider-Man director Sam Raimi, meets with Tobey Maguire to…
Princeton Course Offerings 3009
Princeton University Course Offerings, Spring Term 3009 AAS100: Introduction to African-American Studies Description: The toils and troubles of…
Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Solved
The Israeli-Palestinian conflict, a searing clash that has ripped the Middle East apart, cost countless lives and commanded…