Latest entries

Scandal: Princeton Eating Clubs In Trouble After Sophomore Pickups Descend into Chemical Warfare

This year’s round of eating club pickups took a turn for the early 1900s as existing members escalated their usual hijinks to things more sinister. As many of you may have been told…


In Recognition Of Woodrow Wilson’s Complex Legacy, U. Throws Raucous, Twelve-Day Parade In His Honor

In an effort to grapple with Woodrow Wilson’s complicated legacy and controversial presence on campus, the University today kicked off a raucous, twelve-day parade celebrating his accomplishments. “I realize that Woodrow Wilson’s connection…


Opinion: A Repudiation of Donald Trump’s Muslim Ban, Completely Unrelated to the Fact That I May Have Left My Computer Charger in Iran

I firmly oppose the President’s decision to bar Muslims from the US: the executive order violates human rights, divides the country into “us” and “them,” and blatantly ignores the Constitution (and also, I…

Ellen Ochoa, director of flight crew operations, NASA Johnson Space Center, Houston (left), Shana Dale, NASA deputy administrator, NASA Headquarters, Washington and Dr. Richard S. Williams, chief health and medical officer (center), NASA Headquarters answer questions during a news conference to discuss the findings of two reviews regarding astronaut medical and behavioral health assessments, Friday, July 27, 2007, at NASA Headquarters in Washington. Photo Credit: "NASA/Bill Ingalls

Aliens Are Here and They’re Completely Unfuckable

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a press release yesterday, NASA announced that the big day is finally here: intelligent, friendly extraterrestrial life forms are about to land on Earth. However, the exciting news was quickly spoiled…


I’m All For Princeton Students Getting Outside The Orange Bubble As Long They Eventually Come Back To Campus To Die

          By Jane Rosenthal, Head of PACE Center On a campus as small and self-contained as Princeton’s, it’s easy for students to feel cut off from the outside world. With…

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Christopher Mintz-Plasse: Please Stop Using My Picture in Your Sexual Assault Awareness Videos 

              Hello, Princeton. I am Christopher Mintz-Plasse. You may recognize me from such films as “Kick-Ass,” “Superbad,” and “12 Years a Slave.” I love my work and…

Nassau Hall

Holy Shit, Two New Trees

              Holy mother of God, there are two brand new trees on campus. Right in front of Nassau Hall, smack-dab in the middle of a chunk of…


I’m Beginning to Think My Lab’s “Smasherator” Experiments are Unnecessarily Cruel to Lab Mice

Let me begin by saying that I’m not an animal rights activist or anything. As a Princeton student studying Molecular Biology, I have experimented on my share of live mice in the pursuit…


Dale Grant Awardee: “I Will Journey to the Orient”

On Thursday afternoon, Marcello Romano was named this year’s recipient of the Dale Fellowship. Romano has stated his intention to use the $35,000 award to “journey to the Orient.” Said spokesperson Daniel Palomey,…



    – MF ’19, illustrated by KG ’19

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