"Valentine’s Day Issue 2016" tag
baby gnome

7 Creative Ways to Use Those Babies That Have Been Lying around Your House

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and that means it’s almost time for romantic candlelit dinners, candy hearts, and, of course, the time-honored tradition of cleverly hiding babies in the homes of your potential…


How to Get the “Unattainable Standard of Beauty” Look

Unattainable just became attainable! With the help of this handy tutorial, you can finally get the look so hard to achieve that some have gone as far as to call it impossible. First,…


The Kama Sutra of Extremely Average Sex

The “Tripping While Removing Your Pants”  The lover removes their leg garments, stumbling slightly in the process. If they fall flat on their face, performing the act of “eating shit”, they may feign to…


LIFE HACK: Instead of Spending Money on a Tramp Stamp, Simply Tape a Yu-Gi-Oh Card to Your Lower Back

The tramp stamp is a proud American tradition. For decades, these decorative lower-back patterns have let the world know that those who wear them are ready for a walk on the wild side. Unfortunately,…

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A Rejection Letter

Dear Ms. Padecki, I regret to inform you that I will not be moving forward with your application for the role of “girlfriend”. While your qualifications were certainly impressive and your experience more…


5 Guys Who Will Definitely Take You to the Aquarium

Jeremy Miller: Nobody doubts Jeremy is a fantastic guy. He’s like a taller Zac Efron without the evil glint in his eye. Even better, he’s definitely into you. You’ve seen the way he tripped over…

Happy College Student

Prefrosh Saving Self for College Hookup Scene

Zach McCarthy, a recently admitted member of the Class of 2020, revealed his decision Wednesday to abstain from sexual intercourse until the fall when he can fully take advantage of the university’s hookup…

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