LikeaLittle Posts that Made Me Swoon

9:23 pm- At Dillon: Female, Blonde I am a hideous wretch who has no hope at improving my physique. You are a very hot and fit female person who is well out of my league, and you really don’t need to demoralize me the few times I’m there. Please don’t; and I might like you a little more. 8:29 pm-...

October 11th, 2011 | Life | Read More

Top Ten Ways to Take Advantage of President Tilghman’s Office Hours

10. Stage a live stage adaptation of “Where the Wild Things Are” on Shirls’s desk. 9. Glitter-glue flowers on any and all important documents you can get your hands on. 8. Inquire as to how many boxes of Thin Mints she would like this year. 7. Participate in a staring contest. Or that game where...

December 16th, 2010 | Princeton | Read More

Greeks Depart Princeton, Leave Giant Horse In Front Of Nassau Hall

After many years battling the administration for official recognition, it appears Princeton’s Greeks have finally given up in the face of negative press in the Daily Princetonian. This morning all fraternities and sororities were found to have departed Princeton, leaving behind only a massive...

April 30th, 2010 | Princeton | Read More

Quickie News: Campus Feminists’ Participation in “No Shave November” A Success

This past month, campus feminists decided to participate in “No Shave November,” with the rousing endorsement of gender pioneer President Shirley Tilghman, who pledged to do the same. In a press release, campus feminists stated that “it’s unfair that women have a social obligation...

December 8th, 2009 | Princeton | Read More

Montanan Speaks Out Against Shirley Tilghman

Shirls is all like, awkward. And Hannah is all like, singing. Breaking news: Almost three weeks after Princeton President Shirley Tilghman announced that Montana was the only unrepresented state in the Princeton Class of 2013, a Montanan member of the Class of 2013 spoke out. Wishing to be identified...

October 6th, 2009 | Princeton | Read More

Notes on Diversity: An Open Letter to President Tilghman

Dear President Tilghman, I was recently speaking with a prospective student about the process of applying to college, and I wanted to share with you a concern that came up during our discussion. After a number of questions about academics and college life, this student asked me if Princeton was a diverse...

September 18th, 2009 | Princeton | Read More

Class of 2011: Shirley Tilghman Welcome Letter

For our freshman issue, Tiger Magazine is proud to present a letter written by President Shirley Tilghman addressing all the new freshmen! Unfortunately, she sent us her rough copy with the original edits, so please bear with us and simply skip over the crossed-out words: Dear saps fools future donors...

September 25th, 2007 | Princeton | Read More

At Princeton, A Bitter Tradition of Exclusion

By JANE KARR Mandy Hamilton sits listlessly, gazing out of her window as the cold late winter sun descends. Friends and neighbors fondly recall a girl who volunteered at soup kitchens and danced happily in meadows. She loved ponies, the color blue, smaller ponies, and laughing at Scientology. This was...

April 15th, 2007 | Princeton | Read More

RE: Archipelagos?

Date: 3/3/2007 To: Nancy W. Malkiel Cc: Shirley M. Tilghman From: Janet L. Rapelye RE: Archipelagos? As per your request, we have “upped” the number of Pacific Islander candidates accepted into the class of 2011. Recent studies have shown that such “chill” students greatly augment...