Tag RRF17

How-To, Princeton

The 8 Ways to Get Home for Winter Break

Via car, with your parents Stare broodingly out the window while your mom aggressively interrogates you on your romantic prospects. Pray for the sweet embrace of death. Via car, with someone you randomly met on Facebook who promised to drive…

Jeremy Cohen
December 4, 2014

News

Total Loser Calls Home Regularly

After just two weeks of college, sources confirm that total pansy Ryan Colter ’18 has already called his family twice to keep in touch and assure them that he is adapting reasonably well to college life.

Jeremy Cohen
September 7, 2014

Letters

A Message From Jay Bush

Bush’s traditional policy of recipe secrecy will always encourage speculation like this, so I have decided to finally reveal part of our secret recipe.

Matt Gwin
December 4, 2013

Princeton

Student Becomes First to Ever Read Traffic Alert Email, Discovers Warren of Madness

Gabriella Garcia Vargas ’17 recently became the first person to read the entirety of a University “Traffic Alert” email, inadvertently discovering a dark hive of unimaginable, soul-shearing insanity in the process.

Alexandro Strauss
December 4, 2013