Sleeping Positions: A Clinical Study
An intensive study performed through Dean’s Date and finals period has culminated in the following psychological profile of the habits of Homo Sapiens Princetoniae with regards to general resting and slumber-related behavior. …
Faust
Princeton’s Faust: An Adaptation of Wolfgang von Goethe’s Faust By: Stephen Stolzenberg PART I Cast: Mephistopheles (the Devil) God (The President of the University) Faust (The hero) Brander, Frosch, Siebel, and Altmayer –…
The 7 People You Will Meet Your Freshman Year
The Kid Who’s Just Really Excited to Be Here This is the kid whose wardrobe is comprised of a rotation of all of the free residential college gear he received, along with a…
LikeaLittle Posts that Made Me Swoon
9:23 pm- At Dillon: Female, Blonde I am a hideous wretch who has no hope at improving my physique. You are a very hot and fit female person who is well out of…
Princeton Defeats Harvard in Animal Abuse Match
In addition to football’s three-point victory over Columbia last week, Princeton managed to eke out another win against arch-rival Harvard in the annual Ivy League animal abuse tournament. The Tigers defeated the Crimson…
22 Rejected Thesis Titles
Making Melanoma: Titration of the Dose of Zinc-based UV-ray Blocking Products to Produce the Optimal Skin Pigmentation in a Caucasian Male A Comparative Analysis of Hops-based Alcoholic Beverages How Much Money Can I…
5 Tips On Selling Princeton to Admitted Students
There are only a few days left until the pre-frosh are required to commit to one school or another. Here’s how to make sure that school is Princeton: DO NOT ask your pre-frosh…
Old Man Lurer Had Audacity to be Old, Unattractive
It has been two weeks since Tony Kadyhrob was spotted in the Borough of Princeton, but the aftereffects linger. Kadyhrob, 68, a noted lurer, had been luring his way up and down Western…
Princeton University Reverses Controversial Policy
After several years of experimentation, Princeton University announced a plan to remove a generally-disliked policy and revert to the original system. As President Shirley Tilghman explains in an article on Princeton’s website, in…
