"president" tag
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Presidential Initiation Investigated for Hazing

Being the President of Princeton University has its responsibilities. Controlling the direction of the nation’s most prestigious research institution, managing the affairs of one of the most intelligent faculty bodies in the world, and overseeing the education of an internationally-acclaimed undergraduate body, to name a few. But recent administrative investigations suggest that this authority may come at a cost: pledge-hood.

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Furious Tilghman Unleashes Full Brunt of Weather Machine

Princeton University President Shirley Tilghman, angered for unexplained reasons, has been using her personal weather machine to wreak havoc on the University campus.

A Tiger investigation has revealed that the “Benedict for President” posters which covered campus in November were paid for by the Vatican treasury through an intermediary Swiss bank account

A Benedict XVI Presidency?

On Monday, His Holiness Benedict XVI announced his resignation from the papacy, shocking the world and igniting speculation that he may be in the running to replace outgoing Princeton University President Shirley Tilghman.

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Gary Johnson Carries New Jersey As Democrats, Republicans Stay Home

Election watchers of all political stripes were stunned Tuesday night as long-shot Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson decisively carried New Jersey, winning 100 percent of the 73 votes cast throughout the state.

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Things Least Likely to be Said During the Presidential Debates

A lot of major points will be raised tonight. Here are exactly none of them.

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Romney Chooses Barack Obama as Running Mate in Appeal to Independents, African-Americans

In a shocking turn of events, a source with intimate knowledge of the decision tells The Princeton Tiger that Mitt Romney has chosen Barack Obama as his Vice Presidential running mate.

Newt Gingrich Increases List of Things He Promises To Fix That The President Has No Control Over

Pundits and voters were abuzz last week over GOP presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich’s new economic plan, in which he promised $2.50/gallon gasoline if  elected president. This weekend at campaign stops in Georgia and…

Ralph Nader ‘55 to Run for Freshman Class President

BREAKING NEWS: Perennial candidate Ralph Nader has reportedly just filed paperwork to run for freshman class president. “Normally when I run for president, I just get about 1% of the vote,” said Nader,…

Shyamalan to Direct Obama’s Presidency

In a move which seems calculated to alienate his already-shrinking fan base, President Barack Obama has hired director M. Night Shyamalan to replace Senior Advisor David Axelrod. “I just think my first term could really…

Panic, as Joe Biden Finds Chocolate in White House Kitchen

An alarm was raised in the White House yesterday when it was discovered that Vice President Joe Biden had ingested a large amount of baker’s chocolate which he had found while sniffing around the White House kitchen.

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