"Is the University hiding something from us?" tag
Final Exam

On Having Finals After Break

To having finals after break I’d favor burning at the stake. At least the fire wouldn’t take as long as death by Monster shake. At MIT, they may play Quake and Brown kids…

Dildo Sale

I can’t wait for the next dildo sale! Normally, I buy about 3-4 new dildos per trip to the dildo store. I make biweekly trips. When there is a dildo sale though, I…

Nikita on the Street

I am a freshman. I am a female freshman. I am a brunette, female freshman. I am a brunette, female freshman, who does not have the extremely sexy advantage of having attended Catholic…

Welcome to Princeton

Welcome to Princeton, from your friends at The Princeton Tiger and the USG! Do you like funny things? Are you capable of forming a smile? Are you able to read, at least a…

Why “Step Up 3D” Is A Threat To America

When I first saw the original Step Up, I felt strangely unnerved. Perhaps I was afraid that the movie would finally force me to abandon my life of crime to embrace the healing…

University Trustees to Implement Pay Deflation for Faculty

The success of Princeton University’s grade deflation has prompted the University’s Board of Trustees to implement a similar policy in order to curb rising faculty and administrator salaries, under which only the top…

Where Did The Wu/Wilcox Mugs Go?

The Wu/Wilcox dining halls reportedly started off the year with 1300 mugs and now have only 64 remaining.  So what happened to the other 1236 mugs?  By our accounting: 65 were used as…

Shakespeare Troupe Disbanded for Discrimination

PRINCETON – In accordance with University equal opportunity regulations, Dean of Undergraduate Students Kathleen Deignan has temporarily suspended the Princeton “Swordfight-by-Night” Shakespeare troupe that until now has practiced in the New Butler amphitheatre…

Will Sensationalist Journalism Kill Us All?

This story contains an explosive exposé of what some sources are calling “the [most shocking cover-up] in [history].”  What you are about to read may frighten you.  Reader discretion is advised. Many Americans…

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