"how to" tag

Illuminati Application Tips

So you’ve graduated from an elite university, been part of a few secret societies, burnt a few rival mascots in effigy, and you’re wondering: what’s next? Well, you just might be qualified to…


5 Ways to Spice Up Your Academic Life

Already tired of studying for your classes? Looking for that extra OOMPH in the library? We here at the Tiger get it: it’s past the free Add/Drop period, and the honeymoon is over. Studying can get to be a real bore, especially when you’ve committed yourself to seeing only certain subjects. So here are a few pointers to keep things fresh in the library!


How To Identify a Means of Egress

In the event that you are unable to identify a means of egress in your residential quarters, consult this guide in order to ascertain its location.

How To Choose Which Child to Sacrifice

Sometimes, life can throw you a curveball. Worse yet, life can throw a bone-crushing 98 mph fastball directly at your head. Writers generally refer to this as tragedy. Tragedy can take the form…

How To Start Your Own Doomsday Panic

Pattern recognition is mankind’s third greatest weakness, just behind bullets and YouTube videos of sneezing baby pandas. In recent years, the best example of our collective failure of induction has been the repetitive…

Tiger Mag’s Tips to Write Good

Appeal to your reader by using colloquialisms
Good: I believe that your observations are ill-founded.
Better: Yo momma got it all biznatched while I slayed her last night.
Use colorful metaphors
Good: Her movements were very provocative.
Better: She was easier than a TV guide crossword!

How to Pretend You Care About Genocide

We know, you lead a busy life. Your time is valuable. It’s hard to be you. But lately, your lack of a soul, or even basic empathy for the suffering of other human…

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