Posts Tagged ‘how to’

How To Choose Which Child to Sacrifice

Sometimes, life can throw you a curveball. Worse yet, life can throw a bone-crushing 98 mph fastball directly at your head. Writers generally refer to this as tragedy. Tragedy can take the form of every parent’s worst nightmare: having a child that watches Glee. Alternatively, you might face the lesser...
November 30th, 2010 | How-To | Read More

How To Start Your Own Doomsday Panic

Pattern recognition is mankind’s third greatest weakness, just behind bullets and YouTube videos of sneezing baby pandas. In recent years, the best example of our collective failure of induction has been the repetitive cycle of doomsday panics in popular culture. Rarely does a year pass without a...
December 15th, 2009 | How-To | Read More

Tiger Mag’s Tips to Write Good

Appeal to your reader by using colloquialisms Good: I believe that your observations are ill-founded. Better: Yo momma got it all biznatched while I slayed her last night. Use colorful metaphors Good: Her movements were very provocative. Better: She was easier than a TV guide crossword! Repetition ensures...
October 1st, 2009 | Life | Read More

How to Pretend You Care About Genocide

We know, you lead a busy life. Your time is valuable. It’s hard to be you. But lately, your lack of a soul, or even basic empathy for the suffering of other human beings, has been getting in the way of your success, both professionally and personally. You might think it would be too time-consuming...
September 25th, 2009 | How-To | Read More