Posts Tagged ‘harry potter’

XXX Versions of Harry Potter Movies

You-Know-Who’s You-Know What Accio Lesbians Bareback Centaurs 6 Practicing Parseltoungue 4 Whorecrux Patrol Debbie Does Slytherin House Elf House Orgy 3 Snape’s Dungeon Hufflepuff Sluts 2 Albus Dumbledore Presents: The Elder Wand Quidditch Bitches 3 Platform 9 and 3/4 Isn’t Big Enough -MS...
August 9th, 2011 | Entertainment | Read More

Another Movie-to-book Release? Really?

So I just saw the latest Harry Potter movie, and loved it. But as soon as I left the theater and entered the nearest Wal-Mart to buy myself a Schwinn Meridian Adult Tricycle, what did I spy? A cheap direct movie-to-book knockoff. Where did this JK Attention Whore get the balls to release a corresponding...
November 29th, 2010 | Opinion | Read More

How I Would Use The Harry Potter Franchise

J.K. Rowling recently hinted to Oprah that she might consider writing more Harry Potter books. In the spirit of sucking any remaining life out of the franchise, here are some real-life products they might consider producing to support the new books: Bertie Bott’s Every-Flavor Xanax — New...
October 4th, 2010 | How-To | Read More

J.K. Rowling Outs Even More People

After famously declaring a few weeks ago that Dumbledore was homosexual, JK Rowling has recently outed several more beloved children’s characters. “Winnie the Pooh is gay, Mother Goose is a lesbian, Santa Claus is a pedophile, Snow White is a midgophile, and Hansel and Gretel have much more...
November 25th, 2007 | Entertainment | Read More

Writing That Seventh Book: The Writing of “Harry Potter 7″

“This is it.” Little Joanne Rowling took one last look in the mirror. Being English, her face was as white as a corpse, so all she needed to do was slip into her Grim Reaper outfit. She was now in the proper mood to pen her final masterpiece. “First things first — let’s...
September 25th, 2007 | Entertainment | Read More

Harry Potter’s Acceptance Letter

Wotcher! We are pleased to offer you admission to Princeton University’s class of 2011. As we detail a few of the most significant University policies, we ask that you please refrain from allowing any of these formalities from diminishing your unbridled, and frankly, a little over-enthusiastic,...
February 15th, 2007 | Princeton | Read More