Posts Tagged ‘chairman’

Chairman’s Address – November 2007 Issue

Archibald Filmore Goldstein IV ’08, the new food manager at Terrace, was up to no good. A 4.0 GPA molecular bio major, he had rented that old Jim Carrey movie about a lawyer who is doomed when he finds one morning he can no longer lie. Archibald thought this was hilarious, and whipped up a concoction...
November 25th, 2007 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

Chairman’s Address – September 2007 Issue

Welcome, Freshmen, to Princeton University. You have no doubt heard that once again we are ranked Number One. Yep, we have been pumping iron for 8 straight years, beating back Harvard and Yale. Sure, it’s true that 64 college presidents are protesting the U.S. News and World Report ratings system....
September 25th, 2007 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

Chairman’s Address – April 2007 Issue

All this fuss about the eating clubs is getting on my nerves. People are really starting to lose focus. Let’s not miss the Big Picture here, guys: the University exists to support the eating clubs and not the other way around. Besides, eating clubs are the reason we came to Princeton in the first...
April 15th, 2007 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

Chairman’s Address – February 2007 Issue

All this business about grade deflation begs the real question: when are we going to stop kidding ourselves and accept the fact that Princeton’s all ABOUT competition? It’s high time we stopped complaining, like girlie-men, and got on with it. After all, we competed to get in here, and once...
February 2nd, 2007 | Chairman's Letters | Read More