Connor Stonesifer(Chairman) is known across the land as a huge dork and was scared of rollercoasters through his teens.
Max Gollin(Editor-in-Chief) has been described as many things: a visionary, an inspiration, a god amongst men, an egotist, a pathological liar, and a guy who is not very good at writing bios. When he was 6 years old, his parents offered him the choice between being a multibillionaire and a person who does things for a college humor magazine. He said “what does that mean?” and was then held back in school for several years. In his spare time, Max collects small-to-mid-sized animals and competes in underground rap battles as his alter-ego, M.C. ReesezPiecez. You can follow him on twitter @Maxwelliswell.
Dan Caprera (Managing Editor) once climbed a beautiful, weathered maple tree. And when he reached the top, casually brushing the twigs out of his tousled umber hair, he looked out at a world that extended in every direction, sloping gradually into an unfathomable infinity. As he stared off into the distance he started to question the very purpose behind his small, fleeting existence. With blossoming azure tears in his eyes, he whispered softly to himself: “maybe there’s more to life than searching for dat sweet, sweet booty.” After a lengthy pause that extended for seconds and centuries, Dan finally smiled – no, he was completely wrong. The booty was great… The booty was everything.
Angela Zhou(Art Director) was born in Babylon – Long Island, that is, and likes to leave the story there because nothing much happens after that. She grew up in suburban New Jersey, fighting off the territorial deer and the occasional wandering bear. She now whiles away the days trying, and succeeding, to bring campus squirrels to tears with her origin story.
Although claiming that she is from “just outside New York City” Alex Gumbs(Editor) hails from the fringes of society, also known as Shelton, Connecticut. Growing up in what can be likened to 19th century America is what she credits for her humor and cynicism. Despite these trying circumstances, Gumbs has picked up a few skills. One of her favorite hobbies is wrestling deer, in which she eventually asserts herself as the alpha female. This doesn’t come without its difficulties- the kids never stop complaining about how she’s “not home enough” and “hasn’t even seen Bambi II yet.” Not to mention that feeding a family of dear isn’t easy okay. Nevertheless she has become a local legend for her abilities and refers to herself humbly as the “Deer Whisperer”.
Ryan O’Shea(Circulation Manager) was abandoned in a basket in the Tiber way back in the day, was found by some wolves, and grew up with Romulus & Remus. After a few centuries, a lot of limoncello, and that whole ‘Empire’ thing, he moved to a suburb of Philadelphia known for “that huge mall.” He spent his younger years wooing women, being a total boss at kickball, and being “that kid with a website.” Now, he’s studying engineering looking-down-on-people at “a small school in New Jersey,” with a certificate in nunchuck skills. His main goal in life is to break expectations, especially that conformist most-likely-to-succeed label he got in high school. His twitter is @ryancoshea.
Evan King(Editor) is honestly not a huge fan of long walks on the beach.
Joe Sheehan (Editor) Joe Sheehan is an editor.
Gil Walzer (Editor) Gil was raised in the jungles of Boise, Idaho by a pack of feral accountants. Once known as the “Fastest Pun in the West,” after losing three consecutive duels with the county sheriff, he decided to pack up his remaining limbs and pursue a career as a harpist in an avant-garde progressive jazzcore ensemble. When the glamour finally wore off, Gil realized his calling: writing for the second funniest campus publication after the Daily Princetonian. He can be tweeted at.
Alejandro de la Garza’s (Editor) defining moment came as he raised his Interplanetary Missile Launcher. “Goodnight Moon” he chuckled to himself, initiating the targeting sequence. As soon as the projectile’s antimatter core hit the Moon’s surface it would implode, destroying any trace of the pesky lunar mass. With the Moon gone, the Earth’s weather patterns would be drastically altered, eliminating summer vacation forever.“Not so fast, Professor D!” Alejandro turned in shock. It was the Tree House Team, a group of scrappy tweens out to make friends and save the world.“What? Impossible!” he cried.“The jig’s up, Professor”, proclaimed Dennis, one of the kid-detectives. “You’ll never stop summer vacation while the Tree House Team is on the case”.“Rats, foiled again”, cursed Alejandro. He dropped the missile launcher and sprinted into the gathering darkness. “I’ll be back!” He cried, “You’ll all see!”Perhaps one day he would finally find a way to defeat the Tree House Team. But, for now, he was as he had always been, a sick, broken man. For, he knew that even with all his evil genius, he was no match for the power of friendship.