• AndrewAndrew Sondern (Chairman) had a promising career as a secret service sniper until it was cut short by Parkinson’s Disease. In the messy aftermath, he turned to wine coolers and spent his days repeatedly reenacting the music video to “Stacy’s Mom.” Four weeks and over 60 counts of public masturbation later, Andrew awoke from his nearly month-long blackout in a trash bag in the converted taproom of the Carl A. Fields Center for Equality and Cultural Understanding. While leaving the center, he heard faint murmurs of the glorious Tiger and knew he must be part of this fraternity of athletic, mustachioed wrestlers.
  • StonesiferWhen his parents told him he could be anything, Connor Stonesifer (Editor-in-Chief) responded that he would prefer to remain “The Lizard King”. It was at this moment that his parents realized the soul-infusion had been a success. As moderately enthusiastic Doors fans, it was only natural that they tender their second born as an offering to Jim Morrison’s vagrant spirit. Though the Necronomicon demanded the husk of a female virgin, looking at their wrinkled, freshly birthed son in their arms, they laughed “What’s the difference!” Now, despite what you may think, acting as a husk for Jim Morrison’s soul isn’t always easy. Sometimes Jim wants things that I don’t. Like lethal levels of oxycodone. Or rocky road. And when we’re not rehearsing “Roadhouse Blues” or snorting lines of thought-coke, he makes me search for the sacrifice will make him whole again. But, as he was in life so he is in death. Hence when’s he’s comatose, I get a little “me” time. That’s when I edit for Tiger.
  • AdlanAdlan Jackson (Managing Editor) vibes.
  • GollinMax Gollin (Managing Editor) has been described as many things: a visionary, an inspiration, a god amongst men, an egotist, a pathological liar, and a guy who is not very good at writing bios. When he was 6 years old, his parents offered him the choice between being a multibillionaire and a person who does things for a college humor magazine. He said “what does that mean?” and was then held back in school for several years. In his spare time, Max collects small-to-mid-sized animals and competes in underground rap battles as his alter-ego, M.C. ReesezPiecez. You can follow him on twitter @Maxwelliswell.
  • AngelaAngela Zhou (Art Editor) was born in Babylon – Long Island, that is, and likes to leave the story there because nothing much happens after that. She grew up in suburban New Jersey, fighting off the territorial deer and the occasional wandering bear. She now whiles away the days trying, and succeeding, to bring campus squirrels to tears with her origin story.
  • CadenCaden Ohlwiler (Art Editor) spends his time with the Tiger making real photos of fake events and fake photos of real events.
  • PiviPavithra Vijayakumar (Layout Editor) grew up on a farm in Hull in the 1920s, where her parents, imported from India to help the Smythes win a roast chicken recipe competition, worked as neurosurgeons. After seeing an anachronistic stone statue of an angel in the middle of her favorite wheat field, she found herself in Westchester, NY, year 2010, facing a poster of Lady Gaga in a meat dress. Assuming this was the garb of this new era, she slaughtered some cows, got arrested, and was institutionalized. She’s fine now except for a minor Gollum-Smeagol moment when half of her scorned Mitt Romney while the other half refused to see reason. He would make a very pretty president.
  • RyanRyan O’Shea (Circulation Manager) was abandoned in a basket in the Tiber way back in the day, was found by some wolves, and grew up with Romulus & Remus. After a few centuries, a lot of limoncello, and that whole ‘Empire’ thing, he moved to a suburb of Philadelphia known for “that huge mall.” He spent his younger years wooing women, being a total boss at kickball, and being “that kid with a website.” Now, he’s studying engineering looking-down-on-people at “a small school in New Jersey,” with a certificate in nunchuck skills. His main goal in life is to break expectations, especially that conformist most-likely-to-succeed label he got in high school. His twitter is @ryancoshea.
  • KevinKevin Shi (Editor) has been described by many as a boy, some as a man, and by his closest confidants, a surefire cure to yellow fever. After a long and frustrating career in verifying the babyproof-ness of household appliances, Kevin had his first success with written comedy in college, as his application essay caused an admissions officer to defecate. For better or for worse, the rest of his application was used as hygienic paper. On the Tiger team, Kevin uses his expertise in the freezing temperatures of popular drinks and inducing poops as the diplomatic muscle behind the magazine. A self-made man and Bulbasaur-chooser, Kevin enjoys spearfishing, Scooby-Doo, and orgasms. And while this mysterious man is often described as hard to reach, Kevin can reliably be found unconscious.
  • KevinAlexandro Strauss (Editor) [photo unverifiable], in his desire to one-up every other ridiculous origin story on this page, conspired to have himself be simultaneously born atop the Acropolis in 174 B.C.E. as an omen of the impending fall of Sparta; in Sao Paulo, Brazil, on the night before the 1958, 1962, 1970, 1994, and 2002 World Cup finals; on the slopes of Iztaccihuatl just as the Aztec empire crumbled under the stress of having to pronounce names like Iztaccihuatl on a daily basis; and to a pair of young astrophysicists in 1993-era Princeton, New Jersey. As both cause and by-product of this endeavor, he views time less as a march down a straight path and more as a waltz-like peregrination across a non-orientable manifold. There are drawbacks to this—for instance, he is incapable of outgrowing his own childish nature, meaning he still likes things like Thomas the Tank Engine and writing for Tiger. Of course, anyone who thinks that this is a problem is a fool whose last lingering embers of humanity cooled long ago.
  • EvanEvan King (Editor) is honestly not a huge fan of long walks on the beach.
  • StephenStephen Wood (Editor) is a native of Virginia but decided to study at Princeton until the local police forgot about an incident he caused at a Richmond-area Hardee’s. In high school at St. Christopher’s School for Boys in Polo, Stephen was voted Handsomest, Most Likely to Succeed, Best Writer, and Most Likely to Falsify Biographical Information. In addition to his work for Tiger, he is an editor for The Daily Princetonian and has had work rejected by The New Yorker, Esquire, Maxim, Maxim for Kids, Tiger, and, repeatedly, O Magazine.

  • yangEric Yang
    (Editor) Eric Yang hails from Shanghai but now lives in New Jersey, where he is hiding from the Triads he conned by pretending to be a Nigerian prince. After his arrival, he quickly learned to speak English by listening to Nickelback albums on repeat, and was subsequently recruited to the Tiger for his high tolerance for vacuous entertainment. More recently, Eric’s excommunication from the Church of Scientology has left him with an abundance of free time, so he has decided to take on the role of editor. Outside of the Tiger, Eric teaches orphans how to fly and skis for the Papua New Guinean Olympic team.
  • EricJoe Sheehan (Business Manager) Joe Sheehan is the business manager.
  • GilGil Walzer (Conference Director) Gil was raised in the jungles of Boise, Idaho by a pack of feral accountants. Once known as the “Fastest Pun in the West,” after losing three consecutive duels with the county sheriff, he decided to pack up his remaining limbs and pursue a career as a harpist in an avant-garde progressive jazzcore ensemble. When the glamour finally wore off, Gil realized his calling: writing for the second funniest campus publication after the Daily Princetonian. He can be tweeted at.
  • JCJean-Carlos Arenas (Social Chair), aka JC aka Jay-Z depending on how loud it is or how drunk you are, was born in Paris, Texas—which is most definitely like the Paris of Texas in terms of fashion and culture and stuff. Originally born Jean-Carlos Gil, JC was born the day Jean-Charles Gille, semi-famous French engineer died. JC likes croissants and occasionally does arithmetic. Coincidence? Not likely. When JC isn’t enjoying French pastries or pretending to be doing math while he instead is actually watching shows like Cyberchase and Yu-Gi-Oh in his spare time, he can be seen ostensibly working for Tiger, which he has learned to love and develop a codependent relationship with.
  • JeremyJeremy Cohen (Web Warlock) joined Tiger after a stint as a growth hacker at a failed ephemeral cloud-storage startup. He hopes to leverage big data and machine learning to disrupt the college-humor-magazine space. Jeremy is passionate about HTML5, CSS3, and the sharing economy. He spends a lot of time thinking about gamification.
  • KATIEKatie Rose (Queen) joined Tiger because of a misunderstanding of the principle of osmosis. She stuck around anyway partly because she still has delusions of being able to absorb funny from others, and partly because she has nothing else to do. Everyone else tolerates her because she’s strangely willing to spend her time awkwardly photoshopping things together. In her free time, she likes to painstakingly edit Wikipedia pages to add terrible puns, watch horrible animated kids movies “to laugh at”, and drop subtle references in the hopes of finding new friends.
  • TimTim Matchen (Chairman Emeritus) was born on the same day as Suleiman the Magnificent of the Ottoman Empire, the only reason his parents consistently remember his birthday. In succeeding years, he became the most feared pool shark on the eastern seaboard, beating people you’ve never heard of like Allen Hopkins, Earl Strickland, and Stephen Hendry. He gained admission to Princeton after beating President Tilghman and Dean Rapelye in a high-stakes game of Jenga. Tim is the keeper of the lists and freaks out if actual attendance at social gatherings exceeds initial estimates.

The Princeton Tiger © 2015 All Rights Reserved

Mildly literate comedy since 1882

Designed by WPSHOWER

Powered by WordPress