The Secret Issue

Vol. 131, No. 2 — The Secret Issue — December 4, 2013


Cover illustration by EJD ’17


Spires and Gargoyles by TDM ’14

Student Regrets Not Spending More Time Studying Alone by MWG ’16

The Heir of Whitman Returns by SBW ’15 (IL. RLR ’16)

LIST: Eisgruber’s Presidency as told by his Bing® Search History

Ivy Cocktail Night Secret Shopping List

LIST: Free and For Sale

US Government Institutes “Big Brother” Program by MWG ’16 (CZY ’15)

Woman Can’t by SBW ’15

An Inside Look at Whig-Clio Hazing by MSS ’17 (RLR ’16)

All-Nighter Liveblog by MWG ’16 (CSO ’15)

Capmandon’t by MSS ’17 (AZ ’16)

Secrets to a Shredded Bod by EJK ’17 (KX ’16)

First Student to Ever Read Traffic Alert Email Discovers Warren of Madness by AKS ’15 (RRF ’17)

Sorry, We Cannot Offer You a Bid by AJS ’15

A Lonely Place by EYY ’17 (EAB ’17)

Ask Dr. Sex by AKR ’16 (BAF ’17)

Princeton’s Secrets Revealed by AKS ’15 (AZ ’16)

WAKE UP SHEEPLE by TDM ’14 (PV ’15 & JCA ’16)

How To Make Your Secret Crush Notice You by MFG ’14 & ECM ’17

Secret Listservs by GAW ’16 (CSO ’15)

Quad Invents Eighth Day, Hundreds Disappear by CJS ’16 (AZ ’16)

A Message from Jay Bush by MFG ’14 (RRF ’17)