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Best Days

The Best Days in American History

America is a great place. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it. But these days, you can’t talk about anything from the past without that revisionist know-it-all from down the hall…

US conversations

How to Talk Like an American

Howdy, my fellow internationals. As immigrants in America, we seek to acclimatise as well as possible in the land of the free (firearm with every purchase above $10), and with a Trump presidency,…

waterslides

The National Parks Suck and We All Know it

Our national parks have been a source of American pride for decades, a symbol of our love for our land. And if you’ve ever actually been to one, you also know they’re complete…

bewarethebk

It is the Burger King

It is the Burger King Strange traveler, I warn you Ahead lies only sizzling destruction The crackling voice of Temptation seduces those who brave the drive-thru line Ruin and terror await behind glass…

Student Accepts Finance Internship, Sells Soul to Satan

Princeton sophomore Lydia Emerson was just about to give up any hope of finding a summer internship when she got the glorious news: she had been selected for a highly coveted position at…

How to Fix a Bad Dorm

Here is how to turn a bad dorm into a good dorm: Make the Room Come Alive: A dead room is unwelcoming. Find potted plants and place them on the sill. They are…

Groundbreaking Study of Gravitational Wave Conversation Confirms Einstein’s Prediction that Science is Confusing

Following LIGO’s confirmation of the existence of gravitational waves, a fundamental prediction of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, scientists announced Monday that a detailed survey of the resulting conversation has provided evidence for another…

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Things We’d Like to See in a Perfect Parallel Universe

No necks No one has a chin but me. What if, instead of having a regular mouth, like, we had the mouths from the movie Alien, where the alien had a mouth inside…

numbers_between_0_and_9-709959

Myth vs. Math

Some useful distinctions to help prepare yourself for a math class at Princeton! Myth: You will learn how to prove interesting mathematical statements like “e^iπ+1=0”. Math: You will struggle to prove the most trivial mathematical…

moral dillemmas

Fun Facts Overheard During OA Icebreakers

1. I wrote a 60 page screenplay about an orphan with a pet rat. It’s kinda like Annie but grungier. 2. I carve Dove soap into doves to be ironic. 3. My uncle styled Donald Trump’s comb-over…

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