Ellen Ochoa, director of flight crew operations, NASA Johnson Space Center, Houston (left), Shana Dale, NASA deputy administrator, NASA Headquarters, Washington and Dr. Richard S. Williams, chief health and medical officer (center), NASA Headquarters answer questions during a news conference to discuss the findings of two reviews regarding astronaut medical and behavioral health assessments, Friday, July 27, 2007, at NASA Headquarters in Washington. Photo Credit: "NASA/Bill Ingalls

Aliens Are Here and They’re Completely Unfuckable

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a press release yesterday, NASA announced that the big day is finally here: intelligent, friendly extraterrestrial life forms are about to land on Earth. However, the exciting news was quickly spoiled…


I’m Beginning to Think My Lab’s “Smasherator” Experiments are Unnecessarily Cruel to Lab Mice

Let me begin by saying that I’m not an animal rights activist or anything. As a Princeton student studying Molecular Biology, I have experimented on my share of live mice in the pursuit…


iDrive like an Asshole

  Self-driving car manufacturers are reportedly attempting to assuage consumer fears that their products do not adequately replicate mankind’s capacity for reckless, idiotic, and deeply selfish decision-making on the road. Industry reports emerged…


Extraterrestrial Contact

  After yet another failed relationship, I knew that I needed to make a change in my life. I determined the solution to my problems: finding someone as far from my usual type…


A Boy Asks His Physics Teacher a Hard Question

Class is ending. BOY approaches TEACHER.  BOY: Hey, Mr. Rothstein? I’ve got kind of a hard question. TEACHER: What is it, buddy? BOY: Well, I’m getting older and I’m starting to think about…well, about where we…

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Top 25 Space Universities in the Universe

1. 24-Hour Night School 2. Battleschool Scholastica 3. UFO (Univ. of Flying Objects) 4. Deep Space University: Now offering 2.7 degrees! 5. The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other…


Wow: J.J. Abrams Has Already Directed Several Movies, But They’re Still Letting Him Direct Another

A few months ago, J. J. Abrams was confirmed as the director for the upcoming Star Wars film The Force Awakens, the first installment in the franchise’s highly anticipated sequel trilogy. Most fans…


“The Int’l Space Station: A Layover from Hell”

When I was booking my flight from Boston to Los Angeles, I knew that I’d have to opt for a layover if I wanted a lower price. But after connecting through the International…


I’m a Rocket-Man

By Elton John I open my eyes to see a room full of scientists, prodding me with their scalpels and their wrenches. I look around – it is a cold, sterile room: an…


The Martian Is My Life

Dear 20th Century Fox, While most people were entertained or at least somewhat amused while watching your recent release, “The Martian,” I was shocked. How could you call this movie a science fiction…

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