Archive for the ‘Sci/Tech’ Category

Scientists Isolate Antipope; Mysteries of Pope Asymmetry Remain

The Large Popeon Collider (LPC) may soon find evidence of a "God particle" that could explain the pope-antipope asymmetry. CERN, FRANCE – An international team of researchers today announced the first-ever isolation of a sample of antipope, a rare substance predicted by current Pope Theory. ...
February 5th, 2010 | Sci/Tech | Read More

Designing the New Apple Tablet Computer

CONFIDENTIAL EMAIL EXCHANGE.  DO NOT RELEASE. —————————————————————- From: Jonathan Ives, Chief Designer <ives@apple.com> To: Steve Jobs, CEO <jobs@apple.com> Dear...
January 27th, 2010 | Sci/Tech | Read More

IPCC Climate Scientist: “This world shall burn!”

GENEVA – “Blindly you have ignored the signs; recklessly did you disregard our warnings.  Now this world shall burn!” said Dr. Daniel Bernstein at the IPCC’s press conference in Geneva.  Bernstein, a scientist who has devoted much of his career to raising awareness of humans’...
December 5th, 2009 | Sci/Tech | Read More

Study Shows Drinking Improves Foreign Language Skills; Test Takers Accused of “Doping”

A recent groundbreaking study by Tiger Magazine’s psychological research team shows that there is a significant link between alcohol consumption and foreign language speaking ability. The study showed that as Blood Alcohol Content increases, there is almost a four hundred percent improvement in...
October 25th, 2009 | Sci/Tech | Read More

The Answer

Human civilization is on the brink of collapse. Consider the innumerable problems of the modern world: War. Famine. Poverty. The continued popularity of the Black Eyed Peas. All of these problems have a single, elegant solution. That solution is the mass cloning and release of saber-toothed tigers. Some...
October 5th, 2009 | Sci/Tech | Read More

Profiles of Strong Women in Science: Susan C. Frericks

When Susan C. Frericks began her career in genomics ten years ago, no one took her seriously.  ”It seemed that no matter how hard I worked or what I discovered, I was never taken seriously because of my gender,” explained Frericks. When she discovered novel oncogenetic phenotypes in some...
September 18th, 2008 | Sci/Tech | Read More

Solar System Downsizing Prompts Plutonium’s Removal from Periodic Table

Plutonium responds In response to last month’s announcement by the International Astronomical Union that Pluto was no longer a planet, IUPAC, the international group of chemists with a name too long to bother writing, has announced that plutonium will be removed from the periodic table. “Any...
September 22nd, 2006 | Sci/Tech | Read More