IvyBank: Smart and Driven Sperm


Hero’s Journey: My Road to Greatness

Midterm elections were last week, and as every one knows, the greatest politicians are forged in in the trials of college student governments. Here’s a look back at one particularly ambitious freshman’s campaign speech.


All Hail Princetonia

On September 18th, the people of Scotland voted on a referendum to break off from the United Kingdom and become a sovereign nation. The referendum failed, but that’s beside the point. The point is that if Scotland can (almost) become independent, why shouldn’t Princeton University become a nation in its own right, too?


16 Incredibly Impressive People We Wish Were Princeton Students

John von Neumann: Yes, by age 19 he’d already published two papers in mathematics, one of which replaced Cantor’s definition of ordinal numbers. But that was at  Pázmány Péter University! Just imagine if he’d had…


Urgent PTENS Meningitis Texts

Following a number of zany texts earlier this year about meningitis from the University’s Emergency Notification System, the school adopted a more aggressive anti-disease stance.


Class Council Campaign Promises

Free townies, rain means class is optional, and residential college graveyards.


McGraw Center Study Tips THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW

Go to class Go to the right class Remember that large lectures can’t be missed but nobody will notice if you skip precept Make the kid with the glasses be your lab partner…


How Can Consent Be Real If Our Sex Isn’t Real?

Ever felt that online debates surrounding rape culture could be ended if that one special person would just chime in? Jaden Smith is here to save the day, taking inspiration from his favorite publication, The Princeton Tory.

Student Refers to Dorm Where She Ceaselessly Questions Self-Worth as “Home Away From Home”

Late last night Joanna Mendelson ’17 led her younger brother and sister into the very dorm room where she routinely questions her own abilities and self-worth. Setting the tone for her family’s two-day…


Dear Member of the Class of 2018

Dear member of the class of 2018, On behalf of this entire institution, we would like to welcome you to Princeton. From your outstanding SAT scores to your incredible essay that succeeded in…

The Princeton Tiger © 2015 All Rights Reserved

Mildly literate comedy since 1882

Designed by WPSHOWER

Powered by WordPress