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dictionary

The REAL Freshman Dictionary: 20 Terms Every Princeton Freshman Should Know

Alcohol Initiative /al-kuh-hawl ih-nish-ee-uh-tiv/ n. Take the initiative to consume more alcohol. Shots, bitch! Bicker /bik-er/ n. The time for all those debate team kids to shine. Eating clubs that use the bicker…

keychains-rachelroberts

10 Awesome Things to 3D Print at Princeton, But To Be Fair, A Lot Of Them Are Keychains

3D printing is, without a doubt, one of the most exciting developments in modern technology. If you’re a Princeton student eager to try out this incredible new form of synthetic manufacturing, you’re in luck!…

grumpygruber

Hazards and Hazing: Get Ready to Have Your Ass Kicked

Freshman year is always stressful. You’re struggling to find new friends, you’re scared of your professors, and you don’t know what the fuck Vineyard Vines is and you’re afraid to ask at this…

lavafrosh

Advice for Incoming Freshmen

You’re just a freshman, so it’s totally fine if you don’t know your major yet. That said, you should know my major. It’s Classics. A few years ago, some rowdy Princeton students started…

tedcruz

A Beautiful Mind: A Ted Cruz Story

The year is 1988. A cramped double in 1937 Hall. Half of the room looks like pretty standard college dorm fare: there’s a Jimi Hendrix poster on the wall, a few textbooks strewn…

tmagaquarium

5 Guys Who Will Definitely Take You to the Aquarium

Jeremy Miller: Nobody doubts Jeremy is a fantastic guy. He’s like a taller Zac Efron without the evil glint in his eye. Even better, he’s definitely into you. You’ve seen the way he tripped over…

spiresandgargoyles

Spires and Gargoyles — Love, Actually

A Message from the Chairman Or is it Chairwoman? That’s right. While the boys were out cradling their fragile masculinity and enjoying the ordinary language of day-to-day existence that always includes their sex,…

Happy College Student

Prefrosh Saving Self for College Hookup Scene

Zach McCarthy, a recently admitted member of the Class of 2020, revealed his decision Wednesday to abstain from sexual intercourse until the fall when he can fully take advantage of the university’s hookup…

Frat Pledge New

Princeton Fraternity Sends Pledges to Mars

Yesterday afternoon, Princeton fraternity Sigma Omega Kappa announced that they have officially become the first collegiate fraternity, or organization of any kind, to successfully land “a fricken dude on Mars.” Tiger managed to land an exclusive interview with SOK…

Banned1

Rejected Senior Thesis Topics

• Ancient Aliens: The Origins of Eisgruber • Masturbation and Netflix: An Autobiography • That Secret Nazi Base in Antarctica: Fact or Fiction? • Sad Max: Dystopia and Depression • 2.5 Liters of My Own Spit, Collected over…

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