Politics

International Pictionary: Nauru Widens the Gap

  As the international battle for Pictionary immortalization rages on, Tiger Magazine is here to bring you the inside scoop on who’s ahead and who’s drawing dead. In the lead: #1 – The…

Restrictions on Greek Life Devastate Greek Economy

Athens, Greece- Though countless Princetonians have complained about the University’s recent decision not to allow students to participate in Greek life until sophomore year, nowhere has the policy had a worse effect than…

Canada and Russia Join Forces to Spread Global Warming

MOSCOW – Canada and Russia, the two former Cold War enemies, have recently found that they have far more shared interests than conflicts. In a joint press conference in the Siberian city of…

Zombie Outbreak Gives Much Needed Direction to Occupy Wall Street Protests

“Brains, braaaaiiiinnns,” says one newly focused protester A recent zombie outbreak in the heart of the New York financial sector has given a new purpose to the Wall Street protests. These protests, also…

Breaking News: D.C. Earthquake Leaves Millions With Homes, Jobs

WASHINGTON D.C. – Millions of people have been left with homes and livelihoods after an earthquake that experts are calling the most mildly disconcerting disaster in decades. The event struck this afternoon at…

The Last Hours of Osama’s Twitter Feed

Apparently bin Laden was quite the active Twitter user before his death. “@osamaWINladen – how many infidels do I have to kill to get some mayo around here?”

Things Found in Bin Laden’s Mansion

Your car keys DVD of Ankles of Tehran IV: These IslamaBad Girls Have BaghDaddy Issues The last horcrux Jimmy Hoffa’s body Tupac, who was also shot, but survived Seasons 2-5 of prophetic police procedural, “The…

Gaddafi Rises to New Standard of Crazy

Secretary of State Hilary Clinton issued an official notice of thanks to embattled Libyan president Muammar Gaddafi today as part of a landmark new package called the Old World Doctrine. Mrs. Clinton extended…

Breaking News: Obama Attempts To Cover Up the Fact That He’s Transparent

In a shocking story from the White House, it appears that President Obama has been hiding a secret so scandalous that it is only now, over two years into his presidency, that it…

Republicans’ Pledge to America: Translation from Politicianese to Real-World English

The Democrats are evil and will devour your souls. The American people, meaning Republicans because only Republicans are real Americans, do not support a Democratic government. We Americans wrote this pledge to state…

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