Illuminati Application Tips

So you’ve graduated from an elite university, been part of a few secret societies, burnt a few rival mascots in effigy, and you’re wondering: what’s next? Well, you just might be qualified to…


Yet Another Donald Trump Quiz!

You’ve seen them all. “Quiz: Did Donald Trump say this Outrageous quote or no?” (Washington Post) “Trump or Colbert” (US Magazine) “Who said it: Donald Trump or Lucille Bluth?” (Buzzfeed) Well, put your…


Republican Candidates Propose New Birth Control Bill

Although the seventeen Republican candidates currently running for President cannot even agree to all be Republicans, the GOP’ers are unanimous on one issue: abortion. Every candidate running claims to be pro-life, some even…


Robert George Has Fucking Crazy Newman’s Day

Shortly after waking up in a garbage can behind Frist Food Gallery on Saturday night, Robert P. George, the McCormick Professor of Jurisprudence at Princeton University, proudly announced to Tiger reporters that he…


University Affirms It’s In Favor of the Rest of the Constitution, Too

After issuing a vague statement passionately insisting that they support the First Amendment, which, presumably, they already did, Princeton’s faculty announced Friday that they also supported the main body of the Constitution, as well…


What Does “Bike Reform” Actually Mean?

The campus debate on bike reform has reached a fever pitch, but one question remains: what is bike reform?


Hero’s Journey: My Road to Greatness

Midterm elections were last week, and as every one knows, the greatest politicians are forged in in the trials of college student governments. Here’s a look back at one particularly ambitious freshman’s campaign speech.


Things That Are President Obama’s Fault

Recently, a number of public figures blamed the outbreak of Ebola in West Africa on President Obama. Here’s a list of other things Obama is responsible for.


Class Council Campaign Promises

Free townies, rain means class is optional, and residential college graveyards.


Who Said It: Eisgruber or Pinochet?

Can you figure out which quotes are from Princeton University President Christopher L. Eisgruber and which are from Brutal Chilean Dictator Augusto Pinochet?

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