Can you figure out which quotes are from Princeton University President Christopher L. Eisgruber and which are from Brutal Chilean Dictator Augusto Pinochet?
For too long the DAILY PRINCETONIAN has LIED to HARD-WORKING AMERICANS of this University, taking orders directly from the corporate clowns of HARVARD UNIVERSITY and promoting a CRIMSON AGENDA.
We showed up to Whig Hall with cat food, hot sauce, liquor, gold fish, copies of the Declaration of Independence and gallons of milk. We were kept waiting out in the cold from about ten to twelve — two hours is typical waiting time for pledges.
The Administration for Children and Families announced plans this week to implement a new nation-wide mentorship program for underprivileged youth starting in 2014. The program, dubbed “Big Brother” by the ACF, will provide companions to act as older siblings to “at-risk” children in low-income areas.
After more than two years of hesitation and inaction regarding the crisis in the Syrian Studies department, President Eisgruber announced at a press conference Tuesday morning the university’s decision to intervene due to “the objectionable behavior of the department head,” Bashar Assad.
Mere days after Friday’s momentous disclosure that the presidents of the United States and Iran had talked on the phone for the first time in decades, a giddy President Obama revealed to close friends today that he and his Iranian counterpart Hasan Rohani have begun texting.
Election watchers of all political stripes were stunned Tuesday night as long-shot Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson decisively carried New Jersey, winning 100 percent of the 73 votes cast throughout the state.
- AJ ’15. Art by CSO ’15.
A lot of major points will be raised tonight. Here are exactly none of them.
In a shocking turn of events, a source with intimate knowledge of the decision tells The Princeton Tiger that Mitt Romney has chosen Barack Obama as his Vice Presidential running mate.