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Nassau Hall

Holy Shit, Two New Trees

              Holy mother of God, there are two brand new trees on campus. Right in front of Nassau Hall, smack-dab in the middle of a chunk of…

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Dale Grant Awardee: “I Will Journey to the Orient”

On Thursday afternoon, Marcello Romano was named this year’s recipient of the Dale Fellowship. Romano has stated his intention to use the $35,000 award to “journey to the Orient.” Said spokesperson Daniel Palomey,…

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Elon Musk: I Will Fly a Man Into the Sun

  The Sun. Ra. Helios. For millennia, humans have looked up at their own yellow star, marveled at its brilliance, felt its heat on their faces, and dreamed of someday flying a man…

President-Elect  Chris Eisgruber

President Eisgruber Gains Sentience

University Urges Community To Remain Calm Princeton, NJ – A report released from the Office of the Provost earlier today confirmed that University President Christopher Eisgruber has gained sentience. Executive Director of Public Safety…

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My Journalistic Integrity Demands This Scathing Review of Dearest Malcolm’s Lackluster Performance in Rent: the Musical

On Friday night, Princeton’s premier student-run theater organization staged their interpretation of Rent: the Musical. The set design was inspired, the accompaniment moving, and the performances were, with one exception, heartfelt and stirring….

GrillTyrant

Ruthless American Grilling Tyrant Overthrown in Bloodless Family Coup

With football tailgate season well underway, sources claim that local uncle Gary Bendenberg has been deposed from his self-proclaimed position of “King of the Grill” in a bloodless coup. Bendenberg, known only as…

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ISIS Claims Responsibility For La La Land

On Friday afternoon, terrorist group ISIS claimed responsibility for the box office sensation and Oscar hopeful, La La Land. The Islamic State released a video that clearly depicts five members of the organization holding…

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Gary Johnson Proves Possibility Of Presidential Win, Detaches Thumb

America was left reeling this week as presidential candidate and kooky neighborhood bird-scarer Gary Johnson took to the stage in Albuquerque, New Mexico and silenced his numerous critics in a single miraculous act….

The four podiums for Republican presidential candidates, from left, former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum; former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney; former House Speaker Newt Gingrich; and Rep. Ron Paul, R-Texas, stand candidate-less, at the North Charleston Coliseum in Charleston, S.C., Thursday, Jan. 19, 2012, prior to Thursday's debate. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

Third Party Candidates

For the first time, the majority of the current student body will be able to vote in the upcoming election cycle, and what a circus of an election cycle it’s been. With both nominees…

New Movies Inspired By Independence Day

In light of the modest financial success of the recently-released Independence Day: Resurgence, producers have started to mine less-popular holidays for new blockbusters. We here at Tiger Mag have used our numerous Hollywood…

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