Ruthless American Grilling Tyrant Overthrown in Bloodless Family Coup

With football tailgate season well underway, sources claim that local uncle Gary Bendenberg has been deposed from his self-proclaimed position of “King of the Grill” in a bloodless coup. Bendenberg, known only as…


ISIS Claims Responsibility For La La Land

On Friday afternoon, terrorist group ISIS claimed responsibility for the box office sensation and Oscar hopeful, La La Land. The Islamic State released a video that clearly depicts five members of the organization holding…


Gary Johnson Proves Possibility Of Presidential Win, Detaches Thumb

America was left reeling this week as presidential candidate and kooky neighborhood bird-scarer Gary Johnson took to the stage in Albuquerque, New Mexico and silenced his numerous critics in a single miraculous act….

The four podiums for Republican presidential candidates, from left, former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum; former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney; former House Speaker Newt Gingrich; and Rep. Ron Paul, R-Texas, stand candidate-less, at the North Charleston Coliseum in Charleston, S.C., Thursday, Jan. 19, 2012, prior to Thursday's debate. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

Third Party Candidates

For the first time, the majority of the current student body will be able to vote in the upcoming election cycle, and what a circus of an election cycle it’s been. With both nominees…

New Movies Inspired By Independence Day

In light of the modest financial success of the recently-released Independence Day: Resurgence, producers have started to mine less-popular holidays for new blockbusters. We here at Tiger Mag have used our numerous Hollywood…


Total Loser Freshman Not Yet Found His Place on Campus

University administrators were shocked to learn Tuesday, that piece-of-shit freshman Jeremy Barton had not yet managed to find his own unique niche in Princeton campus life despite having been here a whopping two…

1974  C- Denver - Newspapers - D.P. News office Bob Seaman - far right in doorway  Steve Larson - right of Bob Seaman in profile  Don Davis - right of Larson - wearing glasses  Chuck Green - next to Davis - in profile and seated  "Cap'n Billy" William G. Myers - Center of room by the "up and coming" sign front view, wearing glasses  Chuck Green  City editor   Denver Post newsroom City desk reporters 650 15th Street, Denver, Colorado newspaper   Archiveblog

How Advertising is Destroying the Freedom of the Press [Sponsored Content]

If Generation X was the Pepsi Generation, then Millennials are the Consumer Generation. In a world where young people primarily exist in online space, targeted ads are having a greater impact on the…

Student Accepts Finance Internship, Sells Soul to Satan

Princeton sophomore Lydia Emerson was just about to give up any hope of finding a summer internship when she got the glorious news: she had been selected for a highly coveted position at…


Ted Cruz Fails Turing Test

After conducting several laboratory experiments and carefully analyzing sound bites from debates, speeches, and advertisements, a highly trained team of computer scientists at the University of Chicago concluded earlier this week that Republican…


Two Weeks After Winning His First Oscar, Leonardo DiCaprio Hopes to Finally Lose His Virginity

Los Angeles— Ever since Leonardo DiCaprio won his first Academy Award for his performance in Alejandro González Iñárritu’s The Revenant, rumors have circulated that the well-known actor and philanthropist might finally succeed in…

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