A message from the chairman: The morning sun glances through the window, its light refracting off a half-empty handle of Tico’s Rum perched on the sill. You sit up and rub your eyes in disbelief. It’s your old dorm room.…
A Message from the Chairman Or is it Chairwoman? That’s right. While the boys were out cradling their fragile masculinity and enjoying the ordinary language of day-to-day existence that always includes their sex, I was busy plotting my takeover. I…
A message from the chairman: Six hours. That’s the combined runtime of the first three Star Wars movies. Appreciate that number for a moment. Six hours. That’s a bad night’s sleep. That’s a day spent on Facebook procrastinating a thesis. Six hours is a drop…
A message from the chairman: Welcome to Princeton! Welcome to the Orange Bubble! Welcome to “the best damn place of all” or so I was told last Reunions by a sixty-year old alumnus, who screamed that phrase as he threw empty beer cans at passersby…
Morning comes and you wake up in a cold sweat. A glance at the calendar and your worst suspicions are confirmed. February 14th is one day closer. Time has done what it always does, and marched you to the slaughter;…