Archive for the ‘Magazine’ Category

Spires & Gargoyles: Chairman’s Letter, November 2009

Congratulations on your fine choice in reading material! Perhaps this is your first Tiger; as firsts go, this ranks among the best. It probably won’t destroy as much property as your first car. First pets pee on the carpet, eat your homework, and die. This inanimate stack of paper won’t cause any...
November 6th, 2009 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

CDC Distressed to Learn that Killing Mexicans does not Stop Swine Flu

BBC Reporter: With the recent global outbreak of 2009 H1N1, commonly known as Swine Flu, governments and health organizations alike are scrambling to contain the pandemic. The Centers for Disease Control has taken a pioneering stance in demographically targeted containment efforts: killing Mexicans. Since...
May 19th, 2009 | Banned | Read More

Chairman’s Address – September 2008

I’m probably not the first person to say this, and I probably won’t be the last, and neither am I the most sincere, although I’m assuredly not the least sincere (that honor goes to Shirley T.), but Welcome Class of 20-whatever-it-is-now-I-can’t-remember-the-last-3-years. I’m...
September 14th, 2008 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

Chairman’s Address – November 2007 Issue

Archibald Filmore Goldstein IV ‘08, the new food manager at Terrace, was up to no good. A 4.0 GPA molecular bio major, he had rented that old Jim Carrey movie about a lawyer who is doomed when he finds one morning he can no longer lie. Archibald thought this was hilarious, and whipped up a concoction...
November 25th, 2007 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

Tiger Magazine Cover – September 2007 Issue

This September 2007 Cover highlights the attempted sale of Princeton University on popular online auction site Ebay. 261-year-old institution of higher learning, in fair to average condition. FIRST PLACE US NEWS RANKINGS!!! Social scene in need of repair. Will put your name on building.
September 25th, 2007 | Covers | Read More

Chairman’s Address – September 2007 Issue

Welcome, Freshmen, to Princeton University. You have no doubt heard that once again we are ranked Number One. Yep, we have been pumping iron for 8 straight years, beating back Harvard and Yale. Sure, it’s true that 64 college presidents are protesting the U.S. News and World Report ratings system....
September 25th, 2007 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

Chairman’s Address – April 2007 Issue

All this fuss about the eating clubs is getting on my nerves. People are really starting to lose focus. Let’s not miss the Big Picture here, guys: the University exists to support the eating clubs and not the other way around. Besides, eating clubs are the reason we came to Princeton in the first...
April 15th, 2007 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

Tiger Magazine Cover – February 2007 Issue

Rumors abounded of Daniel Radcliffe’s possible matriculation to Princeton when this timely cover came out in February of 2007. Radcliffe’s role as Harry Potter may not have prepared him for the horrors of the Princeton female.
February 15th, 2007 | Covers | Read More

Letter to the Editor – February 2007

To the editors of Tiger Magazine, In regards to your past “joke issue,” I must object to your faux op-ed piece “Pyramids so Velly Good in Middle Kingdom.” I would have you know that many Ancient Egyptian-American alums are circulating this article like wildfire, with its blatant...
February 15th, 2007 | Letters to the Editor | Read More

Chairman’s Address – February 2007 Issue

All this business about grade deflation begs the real question: when are we going to stop kidding ourselves and accept the fact that Princeton’s all ABOUT competition? It’s high time we stopped complaining, like girlie-men, and got on with it. After all, we competed to get in here, and once...
February 2nd, 2007 | Chairman's Letters | Read More