Archive for the ‘Media’ Category

After Long Spiritual Journey, Waldo Finds Self

The renowned world traveler, diver, astronaut, escape artist, and occasional time traveler known only to the world as Waldo, in an exclusive interview with the Tiger, recently revealed that after decades of wearing the same sweater and hat combination and hiding in plain sight, he has finally realized...
April 24th, 2010 | Entertainment, Pamphlets | Read More

Paul Muldoon Critiques Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok”

The Princeton Tiger presents another edition of “Discussions in Contemporary Poetry,” a series in which we ask important people stupid questions. In this episode, we critique Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok” with Princeton Professor Paul Muldoon, Pulitzer Prize-winning poet and Poetry...
April 8th, 2010 | Entertainment, Video | Read More

North Korea changes its currency to WoW gold

In a startling turn of events, North Korea has announced that it will be discontinuing use of its recently devalued won currency in favor of the denomination exchanged in Blizzard’s popular online game World of Warcraft, “WoW gold.” The recent currency revolution has been revealed as...
March 7th, 2010 | Pamphlets | Read More

Princeton Volunteers Dispense Hot Breakfasts to Deprived Harvard Students

The Harvard administration eliminated hot breakfasts for Harvard students due to budget cuts, and the situation was desperate. These kids needed an angel… and they got several. On Friday, November 6, The Princeton Tiger led a humanitarian aid mission to bring hot breakfast– oatmeal– to Harvard...
February 12th, 2010 | Princeton, Video | Read More

Spires & Gargoyles: Chairman’s Letter, November 2009

Congratulations on your fine choice in reading material! Perhaps this is your first Tiger; as firsts go, this ranks among the best. It probably won’t destroy as much property as your first car. First pets pee on the carpet, eat your homework, and die. This inanimate stack of paper won’t cause any...
November 6th, 2009 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

CDC Distressed to Learn that Killing Mexicans does not Stop Swine Flu

BBC Reporter: With the recent global outbreak of 2009 H1N1, commonly known as Swine Flu, governments and health organizations alike are scrambling to contain the pandemic. The Centers for Disease Control has taken a pioneering stance in demographically targeted containment efforts: killing Mexicans. Since...
May 19th, 2009 | Banned | Read More

Chairman’s Address – September 2008

I’m probably not the first person to say this, and I probably won’t be the last, and neither am I the most sincere, although I’m assuredly not the least sincere (that honor goes to Shirley T.), but Welcome Class of 20-whatever-it-is-now-I-can’t-remember-the-last-3-years. I’m...
September 14th, 2008 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

Chairman’s Address – November 2007 Issue

Archibald Filmore Goldstein IV ’08, the new food manager at Terrace, was up to no good. A 4.0 GPA molecular bio major, he had rented that old Jim Carrey movie about a lawyer who is doomed when he finds one morning he can no longer lie. Archibald thought this was hilarious, and whipped up a concoction...
November 25th, 2007 | Chairman's Letters | Read More

Tiger Magazine Cover – September 2007 Issue

This September 2007 Cover highlights the attempted sale of Princeton University on popular online auction site Ebay. 261-year-old institution of higher learning, in fair to average condition. FIRST PLACE US NEWS RANKINGS!!! Social scene in need of repair. Will put your name on building.
September 25th, 2007 | Covers | Read More

Chairman’s Address – September 2007 Issue

Welcome, Freshmen, to Princeton University. You have no doubt heard that once again we are ranked Number One. Yep, we have been pumping iron for 8 straight years, beating back Harvard and Yale. Sure, it’s true that 64 college presidents are protesting the U.S. News and World Report ratings system....
September 25th, 2007 | Chairman's Letters | Read More