Dorm Masturbating

Freshman Excited to Live in Same Room Where Renowned Physicist Did Some of His Most Notable Masturbating

Listening gleefully to the Sunday morning carillon bells at the Graduate College, first year physics student Marc Flauverat moved his belongings into the dorm room where Nobel Prize-winning physicist Clinton Davisson did some…

Honor Code

I’m Pretty Sure the Honor Code Doesn’t Say Anything About an Honest Mistake Between Two Cousins

  As a Princeton student, I take great pride in my adherence to the University Honor Code. In the past, I’ve looked to “Rights, Rules, Responsibilities” for insights on everything from lab research…


Illuminati Application Tips

So you’ve graduated from an elite university, been part of a few secret societies, burnt a few rival mascots in effigy, and you’re wondering: what’s next? Well, you just might be qualified to…

No Halloween

Student Accidentally Refers to Princetoween as “Halloween” in Precept, Forced to Drop Class

On Tuesday, Jeremy Briggs ’19 took a fatal misstep during a precept for PSY/GSS 329, Psychology of Gender, when he accidentally referred to Princetoween as “Halloween.” According to classmate Maddie Klein ’17, it…


Inspiring! This Student Covered His Windowsill in Urns

It’s a familiar sight on every college campus: windows lined with rows of empty beer bottles, the trophies of a college experience ‘well-lived’. These displays have become so conventional that, for most students,…


Princeton Orgy Club Application

Thank you for expressing your interest in Orgy Club. Founded in the fall of 2013, we are the first student-run organization on Princeton’s campus completely dedicated to organizing depraved sex parties with multiple partners. Due to unprecedented popularity, starting this year, membership will be by application only.


In Defense of Marriage

There is nothing more sacred than the marital bond. And in these increasingly liberal times, there is no more sacred decision than to defend it. Marriage means stability, fidelity, and the reality that…


I’ve Started Using the Up/Down Toilet Flush System to Coordinate my Hookups–Here’s Why You Should Too!

Most of you all are probably quite familiar with the popular hookup app Tinder. Perhaps even more of you are familiar with Princeton’s world-renowned two-flush toilet system–up for liquids, down for solids. But…

Point Counterpoint

Point/Counterpoint – If You’re Not Going to Move, Get Out of the Way! vs. Excuse Me, This is an Arch Sing

Point: If You’re Not Going to Move, Get Out of the Way! By Max Philips ’19 No other way to say it: I’m a busy man. I’ve got classes, meetings, and interviews all…


Reading as Writing: A Nass Article About Reading a Nass Article

When I was little, I wasn’t the kid throwing the football, playing with a dollhouse, or throwing a football at a dollhouse—I was the one with a book. My parents, passionate about reading…

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