Condom-Gram Optimization
As with every Valentine’s Day season, Princeton students have been sharing the love by sending each other condom grams, comprised of candy, a condom, and, in most cases, a terribly sarcastic remark. However,…
19 Ways to Spend Valentine’s Day
Watch a sappy movie with your friends. Cook a really nice dinner and treat yourself. Go to that art museum thing. It was kind of fun last year. Remember how he was never…
TZ Horton’s Biweekly Terminological Repertoire
Unbepissed – adj. the quality of not having been urinated upon. An absolutely necessary word which serves the purpose of making the distinction between things which have, and have not been urinated upon….
CollegeBoard Reveals New Line-up SATs Aimed at Younger Audience
CollegeBoard President Gaston Caperton announced last Sunday on the company’s official website a new slew of preparatory tests for the SAT that begin in fall 2012. The new Preliminary SATs shall be called…
A Letter to my Roommates
To my roommates, With the end of midterms and my return to campus, I’d like to take this opportunity to announce my reintroduction of several oft-requested habits that were lost during midterms week,…
Top Ten Disney Halloween Costumes
10. Slutty Little Mermaid 9. Slutty Mulan 8. Slutty Esmeralda 7. Slutty Snow White 6. Slutty Pocohantas 5. Slutty Tinkerbell 4. Slutty Princess Jasmine 3. Slutty Jessica Rabbit 2. Slutty Kim Possible 1….
Things I Am Sorry For
For those of you who don’t know, last week was the Day of Atonement, when Jews stop eating for a day and get judged. Part of that process involves going around to everyone…
LikeaLittle Posts that Made Me Swoon
9:23 pm- At Dillon: Female, Blonde I am a hideous wretch who has no hope at improving my physique. You are a very hot and fit female person who is well out of…
Men
Listen, I’m a man. It seems like you can’t throw a spear in this town without alerting the authorities or hitting an op-ed about how little free time the average Princeton student has…
