How to Get a Sweet Ride

Razor Scooter Razor scooters are dope as heck. Will Krantz’s mom let him get one last Christmas and he can already do wheelies on his. It’s so tight. If you want to get…

Quick Spanish for Travelers

Hello ¡Hola! Goodbye Adiós How are you? ¿Cómo estás? I speak a little Spanish. Hablo un poco de español. My name is… Me llamo… Where is the bathroom? ¿Dónde está el baño? I…


McGraw Center Study Tips THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW

Go to class Go to the right class Remember that large lectures can’t be missed but nobody will notice if you skip precept Make the kid with the glasses be your lab partner…

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How to Exaggerate Your Summer (A Primer)

You got a job and networked like you were born for it, but at the end of the day you wonder whether you regret ending your childhood at the tender age of twenty, and you’re desperate to preserve the charade that you’re an at least halfway interesting human being.


Six Unrealistic Scenarios that End with Me Kissing This Girl in My Hall

1. Conscription for the robot war has begun early. Princeton is torn to shreds.  Dorms are set aflame and the sky has turned a darkness blacker than the depths of Overlord Eisgruber’s eyes. Wilson…


A Guide to Princeton Precept Etiquette

As you begin your first semester here at Princeton, you’ll be introduced to a type of class known as the “precept.” You’re probably wondering what exactly a “precept” is. Well, it’s actually very…

OA Shop Final

Outdoor Action 2014: Tips and Tricks

This year, from August 30th to September 5th, approximately 800 freshman from the class of 2018 will participate in Princeton’s Outdoor Action program. To any and all anxious freshmen, here are a few…


Emoticons for an Evolving Age

Sometimes a crude, punctuation-based picture is worth a small collection of words. And in this age of smartphones, where texting could transform at any moment into meaningful conversation, never has the conservation of…

Illustrated by AZ '16

How to Successfully Embezzle Money from Your Student Group

By Tim Matchen, Chairman Emeritus Let me start with a disclaimer: I have never, ever embezzled money from The Princeton Tiger (though I make no similar claims about my interactions with The Daily Princetonian)—but…

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Eight Signs You Went to Princeton But Have Total Retrograde Amnesia

You ALWAYS tell people you went to “a small liberal arts school in New Jersey” because that’s all you’ve been able to piece together of the life you had before.

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