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Community Events This Month

Dec 16-17: Jingle and Mingle: Join Holly Parsons of WB4-North for the Annual “Jingle and Mingle.” Semi-formal dress encouraged. Cocktails provided. 7:30 p.m, La Quinta Inn Ballroom, 8700 Riverdale Ln., Merryville, $20, www.wb4north.com/jingleandmingle…

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Extraterrestrial Contact

  After yet another failed relationship, I knew that I needed to make a change in my life. I determined the solution to my problems: finding someone as far from my usual type…

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Wow: J.J. Abrams Has Already Directed Several Movies, But They’re Still Letting Him Direct Another

A few months ago, J. J. Abrams was confirmed as the director for the upcoming Star Wars film The Force Awakens, the first installment in the franchise’s highly anticipated sequel trilogy. Most fans…

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“The Int’l Space Station: A Layover from Hell”

When I was booking my flight from Boston to Los Angeles, I knew that I’d have to opt for a layover if I wanted a lower price. But after connecting through the International…

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I’m a Rocket-Man

By Elton John I open my eyes to see a room full of scientists, prodding me with their scalpels and their wrenches. I look around – it is a cold, sterile room: an…

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Vacation Suggestions for Time Travelers On a Budget

  History is filled with many beautiful and desirable destinations. Yet unfortunately, not everyone has the resources for a trip to Ancient Greece or elaborate futuristic resorts. We can’t all meet William Shakespeare…

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Differences Between UK and American English: A Primer

1. What we in the states call a “stout” or a “lager” will frequently be referred to by people in the UK as “breakfast,” and what we would call “beer”, they call “water.” 2. Words…

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Rejected Senior Thesis Topics

• Ancient Aliens: The Origins of Eisgruber • Masturbation and Netflix: An Autobiography • That Secret Nazi Base in Antarctica: Fact or Fiction? • Sad Max: Dystopia and Depression • 2.5 Liters of My Own Spit, Collected over…

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A Father from the 1950’s Trying to Explain Sex to His Son

Lights up on DAD. SON enters. DAD: Gosh, you really razzed my berries sneaking up on me like that. Whatcha you doing burning the midnight oil? SON: Hey dad I had a question I wanted…

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Myth vs. Math

Some useful distinctions to help prepare yourself for a math class at Princeton! Myth: You will learn how to prove interesting mathematical statements like “e^iπ+1=0”. Math: You will struggle to prove the most trivial mathematical…

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