George Washington’s Rules for Most Satisfactory Love-Making

George Washington, the famously fastidious founding paternal figure, wrote down rules for etiquette still held sacred by many Americans. Less well-known but equally important are his Rules for Most Satisfactory Love-Making, presented below for the first…


How to Lose a Lover in 10 Words

We know you, Princeton student. You hate commitment! You complain about semesters that are only 12 weeks long and can’t even stay in a lecture for a full hour. So if you’re in a relationship…


Find Your True Love

How to find your true love Find a romantic location, maybe a coffee shop, a bookstore, or a scenic overlook. Let other males know you have claimed the romantic location as your territory…


Relationship Advice from Steve the Zookeeper

Dear Steve, I’ve been on a couple dates with this girl and I feel like she might want to go a little further than kissing and cuddling. The only problem is, I’m a little nervous about my…


Things To Do With Your Awkward Arm While Being The Big Spoon

» Snapchat your friends so everyone knows you’re capable of making genuine human connection #cuddling » Finally adjust your clock for Daylight Saving Time » Play a kickin’ piano solo with your jazz trio » Put…


Looking for Love

Single and looking to mingle, but have no idea where to start? Sick of trying to meaningfully converse with drunk people while equally intoxicated? Here’s a handy guide to snagging yourself a significant other in situations where you…


In Defense of Bicker: People Are Assholes In The Real World, So I Should Be An Asshole To You Here

By Andy Chesterfield ’16, member of a Bicker club I’m the first to admit that Bicker isn’t perfect, but recent discussion about bicker being “elitist,” “superficial,” and “pointlessly detrimental to campus social life”…


Study Abroad Tips

First, you need to make sure that study abroad will work with your major. Then, choose a country where you would like to study or use one of Princeton’s own programs. I did…


The 8 Ways to Get Home for Winter Break

Via car, with your parents Stare broodingly out the window while your mom aggressively interrogates you on your romantic prospects. Pray for the sweet embrace of death. Via car, with someone you randomly…


How to Get a Sweet Ride

Razor Scooter Razor scooters are dope as heck. Will Krantz’s mom let him get one last Christmas and he can already do wheelies on his. It’s so tight. If you want to get…

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