Life
dating-vs-relationship

First Date Tips

Mark your forehead with a large “X” so your date can tell you from your evil twin Offer her your business card several times throughout your meal As soon as your date asks…

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Recipe: Make Your Own Boyfriend

Can’t find the right guy? Tired of being alone? Take matters into your own hands and whip up a man that’ll never leave you with this easy recipe. Ingredients 1 corpse (a recently deceased…

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How to Get the “Unattainable Standard of Beauty” Look

Unattainable just became attainable! With the help of this handy tutorial, you can finally get the look so hard to achieve that some have gone as far as to call it impossible. First,…

prouddad

The Kama Sutra of Extremely Average Sex

The “Tripping While Removing Your Pants”  The lover removes their leg garments, stumbling slightly in the process. If they fall flat on their face, performing the act of “eating shit”, they may feign to…

trampstamp

LIFE HACK: Instead of Spending Money on a Tramp Stamp, Simply Tape a Yu-Gi-Oh Card to Your Lower Back

The tramp stamp is a proud American tradition. For decades, these decorative lower-back patterns have let the world know that those who wear them are ready for a walk on the wild side. Unfortunately,…

Date Ideas That Don’t Involve High-Risk, Unnecessary Medical Procedures

Nothing spells romance like lying half-dead in the nearest hospital and undergoing some unnecessary medical procedure, so here are some fun alternative date ideas for when that’s not feasible. Walk in the park A…

tmagaquarium

5 Guys Who Will Definitely Take You to the Aquarium

Jeremy Miller: Nobody doubts Jeremy is a fantastic guy. He’s like a taller Zac Efron without the evil glint in his eye. Even better, he’s definitely into you. You’ve seen the way he tripped over…

Happy College Student

Prefrosh Saving Self for College Hookup Scene

Zach McCarthy, a recently admitted member of the Class of 2020, revealed his decision Wednesday to abstain from sexual intercourse until the fall when he can fully take advantage of the university’s hookup…

Incredible! Follow These 5 Tips for a Revolutionary Relationship!

Fellow Countrymen, As General Washington’s troops press on towards Yorktown, King George’s tyranny grows less certain every day. Yet, it behooves us to remember that the driving forces behind any revolution are the…

Elvis-and-Kiss

How We Met

Three women share the rom-com worthy details of how they met their significant others. CYNTHIA Mark and I met at work. I was just making some copies in the copy room when he…

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