Archive for the ‘How-To’ Category

How to Pretend You Care About Genocide

We know, you lead a busy life. Your time is valuable. It’s hard to be you. But lately, your lack of a soul, or even basic empathy for the suffering of other human beings, has been getting in the way of your success, both professionally and personally. You might think it would be too time-consuming...
September 25th, 2009 | How-To | Read More

How To Get A Girl

10.) Touch her subtly. Making contact lets her know that you are interested. Too much contact lets her know you’re a pervert. Because you are, in fact, a pervert. 9.) Laugh. Smile. Make sure she knows you are having a good time. Talk to that random guy by the wall. You don’t actually know...
April 15th, 2007 | How-To | Read More

The Bicker of the Christ

Forasmuch as many hath taken in hand, this season, to set forth in order a declaration of the events which occurred in the meeting halls of the Tower Club, it seemed good to me also, being from the beginning an eyewitness and having had perfect understanding of all these things from the very first, to...
April 15th, 2007 | How-To, Princeton | Read More

The Freshman Guide to Spring Semester

How did you spend your freshman fall? A lucky few, that handful of the bright and the motivated (and lame), have managed to juggle your classes and plethora of activities. The rest of you stopped going to lecture for one or more classes the third week of school? Think Firestone is a tire? Have at least...
February 15th, 2007 | How-To | Read More