How-To
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7 Creative Ways to Use Those Babies That Have Been Lying around Your House

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and that means it’s almost time for romantic candlelit dinners, candy hearts, and, of course, the time-honored tradition of cleverly hiding babies in the homes of your potential…

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First Date Tips

Mark your forehead with a large “X” so your date can tell you from your evil twin Offer her your business card several times throughout your meal As soon as your date asks…

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Recipe: Make Your Own Boyfriend

Can’t find the right guy? Tired of being alone? Take matters into your own hands and whip up a man that’ll never leave you with this easy recipe. Ingredients 1 corpse (a recently deceased…

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How to Get the “Unattainable Standard of Beauty” Look

Unattainable just became attainable! With the help of this handy tutorial, you can finally get the look so hard to achieve that some have gone as far as to call it impossible. First,…

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Vacation Suggestions for Time Travelers On a Budget

  History is filled with many beautiful and desirable destinations. Yet unfortunately, not everyone has the resources for a trip to Ancient Greece or elaborate futuristic resorts. We can’t all meet William Shakespeare…

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Illuminati Application Tips

So you’ve graduated from an elite university, been part of a few secret societies, burnt a few rival mascots in effigy, and you’re wondering: what’s next? Well, you just might be qualified to…

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The 8 Ways to Get Home for Winter Break

Via car, with your parents Stare broodingly out the window while your mom aggressively interrogates you on your romantic prospects. Pray for the sweet embrace of death. Via car, with someone you randomly…

Quick Spanish for Travelers

Hello ¡Hola! Goodbye Adiós How are you? ¿Cómo estás? I speak a little Spanish. Hablo un poco de español. My name is… Me llamo… Where is the bathroom? ¿Dónde está el baño? I…

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Outdoor Action 2014: Tips and Tricks

This year, from August 30th to September 5th, approximately 800 freshman from the class of 2018 will participate in Princeton’s Outdoor Action program. To any and all anxious freshmen, here are a few…

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Emoticons for an Evolving Age

Sometimes a crude, punctuation-based picture is worth a small collection of words. And in this age of smartphones, where texting could transform at any moment into meaningful conversation, never has the conservation of…

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