Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

TZ Horton’s Biweekly Terminological Repertoire

Unbepissed – adj.  the quality of not having been urinated upon.  An absolutely necessary word which serves the purpose of making the distinction between things which have, and have not been urinated upon. Contradistinction – n.  contrast.  Because “in contrast with” is just not good enough...
November 20th, 2011 | Life | Read More

CollegeBoard Reveals New Line-up SATs Aimed at Younger Audience

CollegeBoard President Gaston Caperton announced last Sunday on the company’s official website a new slew of preparatory tests for the SAT that begin in fall 2012. The new Preliminary SATs shall be called PnSATs, where CollegeBoard defines PnSAT to be used to prepare students for Pn-1SAT and so on....
November 11th, 2011 | Life | Read More

A Letter to my Roommates

To my roommates, With the end of midterms and my return to campus, I’d like to take this opportunity to announce my reintroduction of several oft-requested habits that were lost during midterms week, namely: Shaving Laundry General hygiene Nocturnal sleep schedule Use of the stall doors in the bathrooms Furthermore,...
November 7th, 2011 | Life | Read More

Top Ten Disney Halloween Costumes

10. Slutty Little Mermaid 9. Slutty Mulan 8. Slutty Esmeralda 7. Slutty Snow White 6. Slutty Pocohantas 5. Slutty Tinkerbell 4. Slutty Princess Jasmine 3. Slutty Jessica Rabbit 2. Slutty Kim Possible 1. Hannah Montana MS ’14
October 27th, 2011 | Life | Read More

Why Are We Exiling Our Roommates?

-EL ’15 with  illustration by JB ’15
October 22nd, 2011 | Infographics | Read More

Things I Am Sorry For

For those of you who don’t know, last week was the Day of Atonement, when Jews stop eating for a day and get judged.  Part of that process involves going around to everyone I know and apologizing for all of the bad shit I’ve done.  If I actually apologize to everyone I get a free car or something....
October 18th, 2011 | Life | Read More

56 Movie Titles Made Into Cat Puns

The Empire Strikes Cats The Fast and the Fur-ious Lord of the Strings Meow or Never Catbaret Hairy Potter Cat-22 The Big Meowski Battleship Purrtemkin Cat Race Catsablanca Cat Me If You Can Citizen Kat The Purrfect Storm Cat’s All Folks Whiskers in the Dark Cats on a Plane A Streetcat Named Desire Texas...
October 13th, 2011 | Life | Read More

LikeaLittle Posts that Made Me Swoon

9:23 pm- At Dillon: Female, Blonde I am a hideous wretch who has no hope at improving my physique. You are a very hot and fit female person who is well out of my league, and you really don’t need to demoralize me the few times I’m there. Please don’t; and I might like you a little more. 8:29 pm-...
October 11th, 2011 | Life | Read More

Men

Listen, I’m a man. It seems like you can’t throw a spear in this town without alerting the authorities or hitting an op-ed about how little free time the average Princeton student has – you’re all too busy playing on trampolines and earnestly making up names for the constellations on cloudless...
October 6th, 2011 | Life | Read More

Eight Vaginas That Have Ruined My Life

1. Susan B. Anthony’s Vagina Susan B. Anthony and her unapologetic vagina fought to liberate women from the subjugation of the domestic sphere. Anthony played a pivotal role in bringing the suffrage movement to the national stage by co-founding the National Woman Suffrage Association with Elizabeth...
October 4th, 2011 | Life | Read More