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Outdoor Action 2014: Tips and Tricks

This year, from August 30th to September 5th, approximately 800 freshman from the class of 2018 will participate in Princeton’s Outdoor Action program. To any and all anxious freshmen, here are a few…

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Emoticons for an Evolving Age

Sometimes a crude, punctuation-based picture is worth a small collection of words. And in this age of smartphones, where texting could transform at any moment into meaningful conversation, never has the conservation of…

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How to Successfully Embezzle Money from Your Student Group

By Tim Matchen, Chairman Emeritus Let me start with a disclaimer: I have never, ever embezzled money from The Princeton Tiger (though I make no similar claims about my interactions with The Daily Princetonian)—but…

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Eight Signs You Went to Princeton But Have Total Retrograde Amnesia

You ALWAYS tell people you went to “a small liberal arts school in New Jersey” because that’s all you’ve been able to piece together of the life you had before.

Illustrated by CSO '15

Oh God, We Can’t Stop

What luck. After 25 years of fruitless research, I tentatively present that my team may have finally found another long-lost piece of history’s puzzle. From this day forward, our understanding of twenty-first century life will never be the same.

Humor is Worthless

People say that satire has the power to educate and change and even assert its author’s own opinions. They are wrong.

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Is Your Teen Doing “Weed?”

Has your child been acting strangely in recent years? Odds are, they are using illegal drugs to become “high.” Be on the lookout for the following telltale signs.

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Eco-Friendly Alternatives to Children

When deciding whether or not to have a baby, it’s important to consider that human beings are the environment’s greatest threat. Every exhalation is a bullet in the wheel of Mother Nature’s motorcade. Before you try conceiving, remember that there are other, environmentally conscious options.

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My Juice Cleanse, Day 40

40 days ago, I started a quest to purify my body and soul via liquefied kale, and I’d love to share my thoughts on how it’s going with you guys! Let’s start with what I think are the main pros and cons so far.

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Arts & Transit & DRUGS Neighborhood??

The University claims that construction on the southwest side of campus is for a new “Arts & Transit Neighborhood,” to be completed by 2017. But by every indication of the current construction project,…

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