Fiction/Poetry

Assorted Poetry

11/14: A Haiku November fourteenth If today is your birthday Your mom got flowers Traffic Lights Suck Violets are red Roses are blue Oh shit I’m colorblind Now what do I do? Dear…

Shakespeare Love Quotes, Translated

Quote: “Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.” Translation: Spontaneous “I love you” texts really go a long way. Quote: “You have witchcraft in your lips.” Translation: Your lipgloss be poppin’. Quote: “Who ever…

love_lust

Love and lust in the bubble: My Desdemona

As Frost once wrote, “at last came a knock.” You appeared at my door, hair golden in the phosphorescent glow of the lights that lined our hall. You looked at me, and it…

Final Exam

On Having Finals After Break

To having finals after break I’d favor burning at the stake. At least the fire wouldn’t take as long as death by Monster shake. At MIT, they may play Quake and Brown kids…

The Tiger’s Hymn

The Schools You Could Have Gone To (or, There’s Nothing Wrong With Ending a Title in a Preposition) You could have gone to Harvard And been a Crimson man. But what the fuck’s…

‘Twas the Night Post-Commencement

‘Twas the night post-commencement When all through my head Not a thought there was stirring But fear, doubt, and dread. My parents paid dearly, Got bills upon bills. But what am I left…

Resume

Me School Address                                     me@princeton.edu                          …

A Tragic Rejection

HEY GIRL YOU REMIND ME OF MY GRANDPA I MEAN YOU’RE NICE YOU’RE NOT OLD ALSO I HOPE YOU DON’T HAVE A PENIS FUCK CAN WE START OVER? HEY GIRL GOING TO THE FRESHMAN FORMAL? I…

What Is Best In Life?

 Bill Murray riding Bruce Willis down a sand dune on Mars bro carrying a handful of police badges drenched in Ovaltine in his right hand and in his left carrying the American flag…

Faust

Princeton’s Faust: An Adaptation of Wolfgang von Goethe’s Faust By: Stephen Stolzenberg  PART I Cast: Mephistopheles (the Devil) God (The President of the University) Faust (The hero) Brander, Frosch, Siebel, and Altmayer –…

The Princeton Tiger © 2015 All Rights Reserved

Mildly literate comedy since 1882

Designed by WPSHOWER

Powered by WordPress