Archive for the ‘Fiction/Poetry’ Category
The Journal of William Gates, the Internet Explorer
In 1804, President Thomas Jefferson charged Meriwether Lewis and William Gates with exploring and mapping the territory acquired in the famed “Facebook Purchase.” The following are excerpts from Mr. William “Bill” Gates’s log.
May 14, 1804 – We depart Redmond today...
August 17th, 2010 | Fiction/Poetry | Read More
The Birth of Keystone Lite
In the beginning, God created beer. It mostly went downhill from there.
Soon after He created beer, God became bored and needed someone to get drunk and watch March Madness with. Thus man came to be. After a fortnight of drinking and yelling at the television, man got a little too drunk and tried...
April 14th, 2010 | Fiction/Poetry | Read More
The Ten Commandments Writer’s Room
Uriel: Hail! Fellow Archangels! Champions of Paradise! Lieutenants of the Lord of creation!
Gabriel: Can we drop the epic poetry lingo? This thing is due in an hour.
Raphael: It’s not the time.
Gabriel: All we’ve come up with is “Thou shall keep the Sabbath Holy”. And I only wrote that to give...
April 7th, 2010 | Fiction/Poetry | Read More
An Interview with St. Valentine
Just in time for four days after Valentine’s Day, Tiger was lucky enough to stumble upon the spirit of St. Valentine, a Roman Catholic martyr, who was stoned after trying to convert the Roman Emperor Claudius. We promptly recorded an interview… and forgot to set up the microphone to record...
February 18th, 2010 | Fiction/Poetry | Read More
The Divine Parody
Midway down the Street I found myself lost.
The dark and stony mansions I could not tell apart,
For I was an ignorant frosh.
“You there! Froshling! Knowest where thou art?”
From forth the oaken doors he staggered
With a belch and with a fart.
“Be not alarmed! My guise, though haggard,
Belies...
November 9th, 2009 | Fiction/Poetry | Read More
The Adventures of Protagacles
Tell me, O muse, of that resourceful man Protagacles who wandered far and wide after ravaging the sacred city… actually, O muse, first bestow upon me a diction not so abstruse and unwieldy.
There. Much better.
In the town of Medias Res, our hero Protagacles was busy leading an attack on his hated...
September 21st, 2009 | Fiction/Poetry | Read More
Superheroes: Where Are They Now?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: After a silent coup, they are overtaken by the Middle-Aged Naturally Selected Pirate Tortoises in an epic battle.
Spiderman: Underwent skin re-pigmentation surgery after an identity crisis, lost Mary Jane in a marijuana drug deal gone horribly wrong, and now goes by “The...
April 25th, 2009 | Fiction/Poetry | Read More

