Stopping by McCosh on a Drunken Evening

Whose coat this is I think I know. He must be back in Terrace, though; He did not see me stealing it To wear as I plod through the snow. My friend must…

Roommate Contract (Amended)

Roommate Contract (Amended) Names: Donald Marad, Niel Stewart By signing this roommate contract, we hereby agree to: Sleep by 2 AM on weeknights.  Sitting in bed and cackling to Dane Cook does not count as sleep….


Green Eggs and Daaaaaamn

I do not like Green Eggs, but damn…


The Most Sustainable Excerpts from 50 Shades of Green

Right now, the only thing hotter than global warming is this steamy new romp from G.W. Jameson. The novel, printed on mostly recycled material, follows the passionate commitment to helping our planet shared…

Assorted Poetry

11/14: A Haiku November fourteenth If today is your birthday Your mom got flowers Traffic Lights Suck Violets are red Roses are blue Oh shit I’m colorblind Now what do I do? Dear…

Shakespeare Love Quotes, Translated

Quote: “Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.” Translation: Spontaneous “I love you” texts really go a long way. Quote: “You have witchcraft in your lips.” Translation: Your lipgloss be poppin’. Quote: “Who ever…


Love and lust in the bubble: My Desdemona

As Frost once wrote, “at last came a knock.” You appeared at my door, hair golden in the phosphorescent glow of the lights that lined our hall. You looked at me, and it…

Final Exam

On Having Finals After Break

To having finals after break I’d favor burning at the stake. At least the fire wouldn’t take as long as death by Monster shake. At MIT, they may play Quake and Brown kids…

The Tiger’s Hymn

The Schools You Could Have Gone To (or, There’s Nothing Wrong With Ending a Title in a Preposition) You could have gone to Harvard And been a Crimson man. But what the fuck’s…

‘Twas the Night Post-Commencement

‘Twas the night post-commencement When all through my head Not a thought there was stirring But fear, doubt, and dread. My parents paid dearly, Got bills upon bills. But what am I left…

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