Sports

Another Tebow Miracle Brings Hope

DENVER- The cheers from fans as Tim Tebow’s 80-yard strike to Demaryius Thomas put the Broncos past the Steelers extended well beyond the confines of Mile High Stadium Sunday night, with people worldwide…

NBA Lockout Ends as David Stern Finds Key

Basketball fans everywhere this week are rejoicing, as news emerged last week that the NBA Lockout had come to an end. The NBA, located at 645 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York, is…

Joe Paterno Also Covered Up Who Killed JFK, Where Other Sock Goes In Dryer

In a shocking new twist in the Penn State case, disgraced former head of the Penn State football program Joe Paterno has been found to have covered up far more than previously thought. In…

A Letter to the Defense

From the desk of Offense… Defense, Where do you get off? Special teams told me what you said about me. I’m a showoff? Is that so? Where do you get the nerve? I’m…

Princeton Defeats Harvard in Animal Abuse Match

In addition to football’s three-point victory over Columbia last week, Princeton managed to eke out another win against arch-rival Harvard in the annual Ivy League animal abuse tournament. The Tigers defeated the Crimson…

Tiger Woods Finds Lost Lucky Underwear, Resumes Winning

Jupiter, FL – A crowd quickly gathered at the home of Tiger Woods early Monday morning in preparation for an impromptu press conference regarding the American golfer’s recent find of his beloved lucky…

Ohio State Tattoo-Gate Violators Sentenced to Death

Columbus, OH — The five Ohio State players caught trading their own personal possessions for tattoos have been sentenced to the death penalty. The affected players include 2010 leading rusher Dan Herron, number…

Dogg Barks up March Madness

Snoop Dogg March Madness NCAA hoes

LeBron Abandons Pretense, Gets ‘Fuck You Ohio’ Tattoo

The sentiment out of Miami today was surprise, as Lebron James just went ahead and did it during a press conference, finally revealing the “Fuck You Ohio” tattoo on his chest that we…

NFL “Sickened” By Harrison Tackle; Considers Execution

NEW YORK — Last Sunday, Pittsburgh outside linebacker James Harrison viciously tackled two members of the Cleveland Browns, causing them to fall to the ground and preventing them from completing the play they…

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