Entertainment

Obituaries Of The Future

Andy Samberg: Drowned after a shipwreck.  Last words: “Never let go” (spoken to T-Pain).  Samberg’s body was found 8 miles from the wreckage on the shore of Lonely Island.  Autopsy also revealed he…

Paul Muldoon Critiques Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok”

The Princeton Tiger presents another edition of “Discussions in Contemporary Poetry,” a series in which we ask important people stupid questions. In this episode, we critique Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok” with Princeton Professor Paul…

Unidentified AA Ball Club Knocks Braves Out Of First Place

PITTSBURGH – Atlanta dropped to second place in the barely competitive NL East last week after a stunning 5-0 loss to a small team from somewhere just north of the Mason-Dixon line.  After…

Al Davis Weighs In On Season Length

NEW YORK – Last week Commissioner Goodell proposed several changes to the NFL’s regular season length. Some NFL executives initially hinted at a simple 18 game regular season and a shortened 2 game…

The New Yorker’s New Rejection Letter

I was surprised to see that the New Yorker rejected my short story yet again. I thought I really had a chance this time. However, it was pleasant to see that they changed…

After Long Spiritual Journey, Waldo Finds Self

The renowned world traveler, diver, astronaut, escape artist, and occasional time traveler known only to the world as Waldo, in an exclusive interview with the Tiger, recently revealed that after decades of wearing…

For Rap, A Moral Leader Emerges

In today’s world of liberal propaganda and left-wing music, the modern supporter of traditional families and conventional values finds himself strangely awash in repulsive media. Fortunately, a burst of light shines through this…

A Letter from the Robot Unicorn

Dear friends, I would like to thank you all so much for helping me make my wildest fantasies come true.  Your perseverance and dedication have been nothing short of exemplary.  Every fairy you…

The FCC Goes Balls To The Wall

The FCC released a statement today stating it will crack down on the abuse of testicular trauma in motion pictures beginning in the year 2010. Chairman of the organization, Julius Genachowski, was quoted…

TV of the Future

Dull Housewife This Hallmark program will track the  life and times of the rapidly aging Mrs. Fieldman, as she watches made-for-tv movies for 18 hours a day without variation. As her children become…

The Princeton Tiger © 2016 All Rights Reserved

Mildly literate comedy since 1882

Designed by WPSHOWER

Powered by WordPress