Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category

Real Headline Or Onion Headline? A Quiz

1. “Former President of MADD Arrested On DUI Charge” 2. “Is That A Chainsaw In Your Pants, Or Are You Just Happy…?” 3. “Man Who Temporarily Disables Facebook Account Deems Self ‘Off The Grid’ 4. “Teenage Burglar Kills Goldfish ‘Witnesses’” 5. “Stripping And Spanking Video Game...
March 4th, 2011 | Entertainment | Read More

Celebrity News Hour

David: I can’t do another episode of this. Alex: Find a way to cheer up, like me! I’ve got a bottle full of Xanax waiting for me at home. David: I’ve got a twelve gauge. Cameraman: We’re rolling. They can hear everything you’ve said. Alex: Hello fab fans and star stalkers! Welcome to the Fame...
March 2nd, 2011 | Entertainment | Read More

Björk Discovers Words

REYKJAVIK – Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter Björk, whose sound has been described as “unique,” “sound,” and “like the frightened cries of a partially sedated, dying penguin,” today discovered words while working in her private studio. This breakthrough represents...
January 22nd, 2011 | Entertainment | Read More

Oh, The Things I Would Do To Rashida Jones, Star of NBC’s Parks and Recreation

Fry her up some of my famous huevos rancheros. Urge her to take enrichment classes at her local community college. Build a gazebo for her back yard. That’s right, an entire gazebo. Pay for the dim sum and the gelato. Upside-down lovemaking. -DJA ’13
January 20th, 2011 | Entertainment | Read More

Top Ten Most Painfully Hipster Songs of 2010

We are all guilty of it. Of liking something just because nobody else knows what it is, of not really enjoying a song but saying we do because it sounds cool to do so, of parroting whatever Pitchfork said about something that sounds kind of profound but might not actually mean anything. 2010 was a...
January 2nd, 2011 | Entertainment | Read More

The Greatest Movies Never Made

Harry & Kumar Go to White Castle After smoking some gillyweed, Harry Potter and Kumar Patel get the munchies for some delicious White Castle burgers. Will they apparate to White Castle or will Harry just accio the burgers? Hilarity ensues. Clothes-Minded When Whitford’s Cleaning receives an...
December 29th, 2010 | Entertainment | Read More

Inceptioning Santa

Dream Layer 1: A Cold, Snowy Mountain Only Accessible by Skis (AKA The North Pole) Santa: Woah, I need to get going! I still have a ton of presents to deliver. Dom Cobb: Relax, there’s plenty of time. Santa: What’s with the ominous fog horns? Dom: It’s just the cries of naughty children. Don’t...
December 25th, 2010 | Entertainment | Read More

LeBron Abandons Pretense, Gets ‘Fuck You Ohio’ Tattoo

The sentiment out of Miami today was surprise, as Lebron James just went ahead and did it during a press conference, finally revealing the “Fuck You Ohio” tattoo on his chest that we all knew was there. He immediately went on the offensive. “Have any of you people ever been to the state...
November 9th, 2010 | Sports | Read More

Pokémon or Foreign-Language Curse Word? A Quiz

1. Kabuto 2. Kariola 3. Phione 4. Oipho 5. Pedicator 6. Faen 7. Zubat 8. Lainar 9. Marowak 10. Bidoof 11. Pinsir 12. Spinda 13. Chinchin 14. Kantot 15. Chatot 16. Itshay 17. Sharlila 18. Igolo 19. Pupitar 20. Jirachi Answers: 1. Pokémon 2. Greek, “fucking bitch” 3. Pokémon 4. Ancient Greek, “fuck...
November 5th, 2010 | Entertainment | Read More

Why Living in an Action Movie Would Suck

Car chases. Beautiful love interests. Exotic locations, intense fight scenes, and snappy one-liners.  No matter how you look at it, pretty much any action movie is about a thousand times more bitchin’ than anything you’ve ever experienced in your own boring existence. You might (reasonably)...
November 4th, 2010 | Entertainment | Read More