– MF ’19, illustrated by KG ’19


ISIS Claims Responsibility For La La Land

On Friday afternoon, terrorist group ISIS claimed responsibility for the box office sensation and Oscar hopeful, La La Land. The Islamic State released a video that clearly depicts five members of the organization holding…

How to Fix a Bad Dorm

Here is how to turn a bad dorm into a good dorm: Make the Room Come Alive: A dead room is unwelcoming. Find potted plants and place them on the sill. They are…


A Beautiful Mind: A Ted Cruz Story

The year is 1988. A cramped double in 1937 Hall. Half of the room looks like pretty standard college dorm fare: there’s a Jimi Hendrix poster on the wall, a few textbooks strewn…

Making My Dream Come True: A Letter from the Fan Who Married Harry Styles

Dear fans everywhere, Ever since I first heard His glorious voice and saw his luscious locks, I knew that one day I would marry that godlike man, Harry Styles. Now I know many of…

9 Tips to Spice Up Your Sex Life

Use flavored condoms: oral sex becomes that much more enjoyable when she’s tasting babaganoush. Be a giving, attentive lover: don’t split your attention between her and the concubine 50:50, show her how much she means…

Why Can’t I Get With Any Hot Gay Dudes?

Enough is enough! I’m just about fed up with dating in the gay community! I seem to get led on and then shut down by one guy after the next. It’s always the same…


LIFE HACK: Instead of Spending Money on a Tramp Stamp, Simply Tape a Yu-Gi-Oh Card to Your Lower Back

The tramp stamp is a proud American tradition. For decades, these decorative lower-back patterns have let the world know that those who wear them are ready for a walk on the wild side. Unfortunately,…


5 Guys Who Will Definitely Take You to the Aquarium

Jeremy Miller: Nobody doubts Jeremy is a fantastic guy. He’s like a taller Zac Efron without the evil glint in his eye. Even better, he’s definitely into you. You’ve seen the way he tripped over…

Happy College Student

Prefrosh Saving Self for College Hookup Scene

Zach McCarthy, a recently admitted member of the Class of 2020, revealed his decision Wednesday to abstain from sexual intercourse until the fall when he can fully take advantage of the university’s hookup…

The Princeton Tiger © 2017 All Rights Reserved

Mildly literate comedy since 1882

Designed by WPSHOWER

Powered by WordPress