Archive for the ‘Economy’ Category

Dean Malkiel Leaves Princeton for Standard & Poor’s

It may seem like a completely different line of work, but former Dean of the College Nancy Malkiel says her new job isn’t as different from her position at Princeton as many would expect.  Instead, in an exclusive interview, she has told the Tiger that her new role as chief analyst at Standard &...
August 11th, 2011 | Economy, Princeton | Read More

Google Completely Stumped for 2011 April Fool’s

With only two months to go to April Fool’s Day, Google engineers and executives have begun to worry that they still haven’t come up with a cracker for their traditional April Fool’s Day hoax. Google has run such hoaxes since 2000 and every year since 2004, including fictional drinks...
January 30th, 2011 | Business | Read More

10 Jobs Mall Santas Have the Rest of the Year

Wilford Brimley impersonator Contestant on The Biggest Loser Unemployed, along with 9.3% of the rest of the population Used car dealer Pimping out ho ho ho’s Janitor at MIT who solves graduate-level math problems on random blackboards Walmart greeter Rabbi UPS delivery guy Bouncer - MES ’14
December 27th, 2010 | Economy | Read More

Asset Management After the Apocalypse

Now everybody just calm down. I said calm down! Just because we’re living in the end times doesn’t mean that it’s okay to panic. I know what you’re thinking: I’ve grabbed all of the gold out of my house, but how will I restore the necessary liquidity to my valuable assets...
November 11th, 2010 | Economy | Read More

Vocation Location: The Story of My Meteoric Rise as a Criminal Gun Caddie

This is a story all about how my life got turned upside-down. Except, seriously, a dealer once turned me upside-down ‘cause he thought I was holding out on my earnings. Let me start from the beginning. On Why This Can Land You Any Job/Plane You Want Four score and seven years ago…Belgium’s SABENA...
October 13th, 2010 | Business | Read More

Toyota Recalls CERN Due To Particle Accelerator Malfunction

The Toyota Motor Company today announced it is expanding its recall of products with faulty accelerators to include the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN).  Many operators of CERN’s multi-billion-dollar particle accelerator, the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), complained that the futuristic...
March 24th, 2010 | Business | Read More

Makers of Novelty 2000′s New Years’ Glasses: “We’re fucked.”

NEW YORK – “What the hell!?  I can’t see out these damn things.  What am I going to do with six hundred thousand “2010″ sunglasses that don’t even fit over my eyes!?  Oh God, I’m ruined!” said Richard Sclafani, inventor of the hugely popular line of...
December 31st, 2009 | Business | Read More

NPR Presents: Conversations in Shipping, Part VI

Last week, NPR’s Chief Shipping Correspondent Gerald Hopkins met with representatives from UPS and FedEx as part of NPR’s ongoing “Conversations in Shipping” series.  They discussed the challenges and changes happening in shipping today. NPR: Thanks for sitting down with me today,...
November 18th, 2009 | Business | Read More

Facebook Considers Purchase of Second Webserver

PALO ALTO, CA – The popular online social networking/anonymous stalking utility known as Facebook has enjoyed explosive growth since its founding in 2004. When Facebook founder and small Massachusetts college dropout Mark Zuckerberg started the site out of his dorm room, he had originally hosted...
October 9th, 2009 | Business | Read More

Total Domination: Google Plans World Takeover

In a Google Press Conference last week, CEO Eric Schmidt unveiled the latest Google software and products coming out over the next year: innovative business programs, a faster and more accurate search engine, and complete domination of the human race. The announcement sparked a slew of debates worldwide...
April 15th, 2007 | Business | Read More