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Community Events This Month

Dec 16-17: Jingle and Mingle: Join Holly Parsons of WB4-North for the Annual “Jingle and Mingle.” Semi-formal dress encouraged. Cocktails provided. 7:30 p.m, La Quinta Inn Ballroom, 8700 Riverdale Ln., Merryville, $20, www.wb4north.com/jingleandmingle…

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A Boy Asks His Physics Teacher a Hard Question

Class is ending. BOY approaches TEACHER.  BOY: Hey, Mr. Rothstein? I’ve got kind of a hard question. TEACHER: What is it, buddy? BOY: Well, I’m getting older and I’m starting to think about…well, about where we…

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Things We’d Like to See in a Perfect Parallel Universe

No necks No one has a chin but me. What if, instead of having a regular mouth, like, we had the mouths from the movie Alien, where the alien had a mouth inside…

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Songs the Beach Boys Would Have Sung If They Were A Christian Rock Group

• “Baptized by Breakers” • “Jesus is the Only Surfboard I Need” • “The 11th Commandment: Stay Salty” • “God Put the ‘G’ in Gnarly” • “Bible Banzai!” • “Are There Beach Babes…

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A Father from the 1950’s Trying to Explain Sex to His Son

Lights up on DAD. SON enters. DAD: Gosh, you really razzed my berries sneaking up on me like that. Whatcha you doing burning the midnight oil? SON: Hey dad I had a question I wanted…

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Myth vs. Math

Some useful distinctions to help prepare yourself for a math class at Princeton! Myth: You will learn how to prove interesting mathematical statements like “e^iπ+1=0”. Math: You will struggle to prove the most trivial mathematical…

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How to Decorate Your Sex Dungeon

– CSO ’15.

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Relationship Dos and Don’ts From a Dog

Do Share your treats Wag your tail when you see your significant other Compliment their fur Sniff their butt Stay well groomed Cuddle up with them Lick their face Hold their paw when…

The 5 People Everyone Had Sex With Freshman Year

Forget algebra! College = sex is the only equation we ever learned. These are the four years you can let loose, and everyone knows the first year’s the craziest!

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10 Things I Hate About You

Your tentacles The way you say “library” How much you like kale The suction cup marks on my lower back How you were embarrassed to introduce me to your parents The fact that your…

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