Dear Dean Jueds, I recently had the pleasure of receiving a letter from you with regards to my Dean’s Warning for violation of the University’s copyright policy. Your letter was, of course, very professional and to the point. In addition,…
WhitmanWire has brought to my attention the fact that there are a lot of arts and crafts going on at Princeton. Where the fuck are you people finding the time to do arts and crafts? Seriously. If you have time…
The Princeton Tiger is now accepting applications for its annual heart transplant competition! We invite children ages 4-12 to submit their applications by April 1st, 2011. Applications will be judged based on Desire to live: based on the quality of…
Name: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Occupation: Goat-fucker Hometown: Aradan, Iran In one sentence, what do you actually do all day? Mostly, fucking goats, but when I’m not fucking goats I’m thinking about the next goat I’m going to fuck. I’m going to…
Dear Large Law Enforcement Agency, As an employee of Small Law Enforcement Agency I am very upset by the arrival of your Large Law Enforcement Agency to my area on account of your intention to take over administration of an…