“Loser” Dinky Conductor Accepts TI Pass as Train Ticket

PRINCETON, NJ According to various reports by envious students, a New Jersey Transit train conductor on the Princeton Branch was seen accepting a Tiger Inn social pass in place of a valid train ticket.

Conductor Frank Giangiulio was walking through the aisles of the shuttle train, nicknamed “the Dinky” by Princeton regulars, collecting tickets when Jared Sullivan, a Princeton student, offered him a peculiar purple slip of paper. When he saw the majestic, socially-dominant name “TIGER INN” emblazoned on the card, he reportedly “could not resist” the opportunity.

“Every day I walk this aisle, back and forth, between Princeton and Princeton Junction, with mind-numbing monotony, and every day I hear the passengers rave about how much they respect and envy the socialites that frequent such a glorious club — ‘America’s club,’ they say, like the Cowboys are ‘America’s team.’ For the first time, I felt, well, like I could be the socialite.”

An unidentified source close to Giangiulio stated that he had previously expressed dissatisfaction with his career status, wishing that he could “ride the big trains” to New York Penn Station, and further speculated that he may have believed that an appearance at TI would improve his social image in the eyes of his co-workers.

Sullivan described what led him to offer the priceless pass instead of simply paying the $2.75 ticket, saying,“When the doors closed and the train started moving, I looked into my wallet and realized that I’d forgotten to buy my ticket. The conductor was coming, and I simply can’t be seen haggling in public over the on-board fare like a common man—it would be below me, socially.”

Giangiulio, meanwhile, is reportedly facing charges of transit fraud and could receive fines of nearly $5,000 in dues per semester and up to two years membership.

-JS ’19

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