A Message from the Chairman
Or is it Chairwoman?
That’s right. While the boys were out cradling their fragile masculinity and enjoying the ordinary language of day-to-day existence that always includes their sex, I was busy plotting my takeover. I smiled and laughed my way through elections right to the cushy seat of power I now recline upon. Anyway, the important thing is that I’m here just in time for Valentine’s Day which is perfect because I’m a girl so I know all about love and pink and hearts.
We started off trying to tackle the big “L” word. Love. What is it? How do we write about something so elusive that even Shakespeare couldn’t quite put his finger on it? Is it really possible that our soul mates are out there? How do we make this incredibly powerful force funny? Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? We grappled with these difficult questions and some others we found on Tumblr for a few minutes before we moved on to the kind of love we know. There’s the kind of love you see in movies and TV and read about in books. And then there’s real life. The world of rejection, dates, and weird sex stuff that you’ll never actually do. That’s what we’re talking about.
The reality is that love isn’t all selfless giving, romantic dates, and falling for your partner again after you forget everything in a terrible car accident. It usually doesn’t involve dramatic love triangles and declarations of passion. Boom boxes are rarely used and I’ve never known a pair of lovers to be star-crossed. You can’t run to stop your beloved from getting on that plane because the security line is too long. And the popular girl in high school never goes for the nerdy guy when she can date the hot football player and break up with him before college.
Sure there might be moments when you look into someone’s eyes and suddenly realize that they’re everything you need in this world. But it’s more likely that you look into his or her eyes and see someone who probably could use a nap. It’s even more likely that the person you’re looking at is yourself in the mirror and that those dark circles are getting aggressive.
So if you’re reading this in an attempt to find the answers to some deep questions about love, to discover truth through the discerning power of humor, then you might be in the wrong place. What you will find is a lot of advice about dating from people who don’t have a lot of experience dating, sex tips from people who aren’t having a lot of sex, and a few pieces only tangentially related to Valentine’ Day if you’re sick of all this love talk.
Modern romance for the average college student is a lot less about love and a lot more about late night texts, awkward coffee dates, and Netflix, for some reason. Love rarely takes the form of a dramatic scene in a romance movie. But maybe one day you’ll bump into someone who makes you want to write a Nicholas Sparks-esque screenplay. And maybe they’ll feel the same about you.
So put yourself out there. Go get ‘em, Tiger.