How to Get the “Unattainable Standard of Beauty” Look


Unattainable just became attainable! With the help of this handy tutorial, you can finally get the look so hard to achieve that some have gone as far as to call it impossible.

First, make sure that your hair is dyed the perfect shade of blonde, all traces of body hair have been shaved, waxed, tweezed, and lasered away, your skin is white but tanned to sun kissed perfection, your cellulite nonexistent, your nails are freshly manicured and sharpened to a trendy point, and most importantly, that your body is as close to the underweight side of the BMI scale as possible while still maintaining male gaze worthy breasts, hips, and butt. This tutorial is all about the face!

Start off with a freshly cleansed face, although if your face needs cleansing maybe this look isn’t for you. Then take your foundation, in a light to medium shade, of course, and apply that all over your face. Next, use concealer to cover any blemishes or imperfections, although the look works best if you don’t have any.

Now that your skin looks good enough to be plastered on a billboard, it’s time to move on to the eyes! Strategically place eye shadow on your eyeball skin to draw attention to your eyes. In order to achieve the full effect, they should already be roughly the size of a Pixar character’s. Think Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc. but with two eyes. Apply mascara to make you eyelashes thick and full, although they should have looked that way before this step.

Just a few more finishing touches! Get carved-from-marble cheekbones with the help of a little bronzer although if you need powder to achieve amazing bone structure maybe this look isn’t for you. Your cheeks should have been rosy from birth but swirl on some blush for fun anyway. Add some red lipstick to your naturally full, pouty, plump lips and you’re good to go!

Congratulations! Get ready to have enough the most average of basic personality characteristics seem like great accomplishments as everyone’s expectations lower upon sight. Just remember to keep it up for as long you can. Beauty fades!




You May Also Like