Pick your star sign and see what next month will bring in the world of Ice and Fire.
Aries
Look out, Aries! A sudden imbalance in power may rear its ugly head. You might feel that others are working against your personal interests and your claim to the Iron Throne, yet no one is honest enough to come out and say anything directly. Your best response is to remain as optimistic as possible. Murder all those who you suspect might oppose you and offer a potent sacrifice to the Lord of Light to reaffirm your place in destiny!
Cancer
You have been the recipient of many generous acts and now it’s time to give back. Don’t be a Ho-dork! Share what you’ve got! Your smile. A compliment. A massive offering of Westerosian gold and weapons. The value is in the gesture – but mainly in the resulting alliances that will be necessary to support your army when you wage the final war for control of the Seven Realms. ;)
Gemini
Watch your back, Gemini! A colleague may try to lay blame on you for their own failures. You have to stand your ground and let them know that you don’t agree with what they say! You must also select a champion who will fight for you in a trial by combat, because only the Seven can cast judgment on mortal men.
Scorpio
Shore up your emotional citadel, Scorpio. You’ll need all your tenacity to make it through this month. Mistrust will divide your workplace, gossip will open old wounds in your friend group, and you’ll be imprisoned by a militarized religious sect and tortured until you admit to your sins. Stay strong!
Virgo
We miss every opportunity in love if we’re not looking for it. So don’t be afraid to look around, Virgo! The love of your life could be right under your nose: a new coworker, a close family member, a stranger, a different close family member. Don’t write anyone off!
Taurus
Mother of Dragons! More like Mother of Downers! Lately, you might feel like your commitment to your career is keeping you from achieving any sort of meaningful relationship. Everyone wants you, yet no one is willing to offer you anything more than their incredibly ripped butt! Plus, your favorite drago is teething again! On babies! Take a deep breath and let go of your worries! It’ll all be Khal-easier from here!
Sagittarius
No one ventures north of the wall, but you just might have to venture north of your comfort zone this week. You may find yourself working alongside someone who really gets under your skin these next few days. But just because you aren’t thick as thieves doesn’t mean you can’t find a way to accomplish a mutual goal! Be it a kidnapping, a daring escape from vicious warriors, or literal thievery, your journey may result in you developing a strong, unspoken bond with that person which will complicate how you interact in coming global conflicts!
Capricorn
Iron Throne. More like Iron Groan! The stress of exercising dominion over the Seven Realms is really getting to you, and right now you might feel like you have no idea how to deal with anything. You definitely need to blow off some steam. Just relax. And take your problems out on the powerless! Torture, exploitation, and cruelty can be wonderful stress relievers. So have mercy on yourself, you workaholic. But don’t save any for your victims! ;0
Leo
Some days you feel like the King’s hand, but lately, you feel more like the King’s butt. Unlike a whitewalker, your love life has yet to reanimate, and work has been a real House Bore-atheon. Stick it out, Leo! You may not be a king yet. But remember: everyone’s the Lord Commander of…their happiness!
Pisces
You are a natural leader, Pisces, and soon you will need to rely on those skills to find the solution in a tricky negotiation. Steer everyone toward a common goal, and try your best to be fair to all parties. Except the Dornish. Damn the Dornish. They’re fickle and they’re never to be trusted. Undermine their interests at any cost.
Libra
The night is dark and full of….hot singles!!! That’s right, Libra! This. Is. Your. Month. You’ve been mining for a relationship for some time now, and, POW, you’ve struck Lannisterian gold! You won’t stay unsullied for long ;0 As they say in Valyria, “Valar more-cuties-please”!
Aquarius
You may be at a high point right now and feeling super excited about things to come. In fact, you probably have a vague sense that the future is going to be even more awesome than the present. Embrace it! Your happiness means your death is imminent! Soon, when your joy reaches its peak, you will be brutally extinguished. The moment will be humiliating and completely disregard all you have achieved. You cannot escape what’s coming. There are no more adventures in store for you!
— CJS ’16