Differences Between UK and American English: A Primer

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1. What we in the states call a “stout” or a “lager” will frequently be referred to by people in the UK as “breakfast,” and what we would call “beer”, they call “water.”

2. Words like “color” or “humor” are typically spelled with an extra “u” because the English language clearly isn’t fucked up enough already.

3. People in Britain will often refer to the letter Z as a “DJ Zedd” because of their passion for the Russian-born music producer of the same name.

4. What we refer to as “a bad hangover at a strip mall Denny’s” they call an “English Breakfast.”

5. When young street toughs inform you that they’ll “av ye”, they are not making sexual advances, but rather threatening bodily harm.

6. On July 4th, while we celebrate our Independence Day, the British also observe a holiday called “Fine, Well We Weren’t Exactly Enjoying Your Company Either You Yankee Bastards” or FWWWEEYCEYYB for short.

7. They consider the left side of the road to be the right side and the right side to be the wrong side, unless you’re drunk in which case anything goes.

8. Company names and brands will typically be identical to those found in America, but with the appendix “Ye Olde”, such as “Ye Olde Walmarte”, “Ye Olde Radio Shaque” or “Ye Olde Facebooke”.

9. The British call garbage “rubbish”, diapers “shit holsters” and baby carriages “baby waby tubbly wubblies.”

— MWG ’16

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