A Boy Asks His Physics Teacher a Hard Question

Class is ending. BOY approaches TEACHER. 

BOY: Hey, Mr. Rothstein? I’ve got kind of a hard question.

TEACHER: What is it, buddy?

BOY: Well, I’m getting older and I’m starting to think about…well, about where we all came from.

TEACHER: (Hesitates) Um…maybe you should ask your parents about this one.

BOY: No, no. I don’t think they know as much about this as you do.

TEACHER: (Pretty satisfied): Well, I did teach middle school health for six months, so…

BOY: Yeah, and I’m pretty sure physics is a part of it too.

TEACHER: Uh…sounds like you already know a thing or two.

BOY: Not really, but I mean, I think about it a lot. Sometimes, I get distracted during class, and, well…
(Teacher shudders)
BOY: I think about it at night a lot, too.

TEACHER: You know what, I really don’t think you should be telling me this.

BOY: Why not? You always say how important learning and discovery are!

TEACHER: Dear God.

BOY: See, but is God part of it? What is God?

TEACHER: Now we’re getting into a really complicated debate.

BOY: I want you to teach me.

TEACHER: (Sweating) I’m sorry?

BOY: Tomorrow, under a clear night sky. In the woods, by the old golf course.

TEACHER: (Freaking out) I can’t do that.

BOY: Then will you please just tell me…

TEACHER: You want me to tell you about sex?

BOY: What? I was asking about the Big Bang.

TEACHER: Wait…you mean…as in the creation of the universe?

BOY: Yeah! Wait, what’s sex?

Blackout. End of Scene.

— JS ’19