In Defense of Marriage

MARRIAGE RINGS FIXED

There is nothing more sacred than the marital bond. And in these increasingly liberal times, there is no more sacred decision than to defend it. Marriage means stability, fidelity, and the reality that our children grow up knowing love. That’s why when I say what I’m about to say, I don’t do so lightly. For years, I’ve been afraid to express what I truly believe, because I know public opinion is against me. But America. I can’t stay silent any longer. Call me “small-minded,” call me “medieval,” but I just don’t think astronauts should be allowed to get married.

Marriage is the union between an earth-man and an earth-woman, and space-men cannot be—should not be—included in our current definition.

We have to put a stop to this senseless inclusivity. I, for one, don’t see why we need to kowtow to the demands of a vocal minority. Wake up, America! Political correctness makes us weak. What will astronauts want next? For us to teach about the wonders of the Horsehead Nebula and retrograde rockets in our elementary schools? Disgusting.

I get it. Astronauts are people too. But does that mean their way of life is something we should be encouraging? The statistics don’t lie: the vast majority of Americans are not astronauts and will never be. At most, some go through a period wondering how it would feel but never act on it. Where do we draw the line?

Ultimately, arguments for inclusion need to be weighed against what’s best for our country. If we codify astronaut-marriage, we’re basically saying “it’s ok to be an astronaut”, “it’s normal”, “it’s not a choice”. Well, truth bomb, it’s isn’t normal! NASA accepts only a fraction of 1% of its applicants. To become a certified trainee, you first have to excel in engineering coursework, be in peak physical condition, and preferably have a pilot’s license or experience in military aviation. You’re telling me an astronaut doesn’t choose that lifestyle? Really?

I’m worried for America, and I’m worried most for America’s families. I had a beautiful childhood, in which two, earth-bound, parents, taught me the principles of honest living. What happens to a child when he needs guidance and one or both of his parents are orbiting hundreds of miles above him, floating in apparent weightlessness? How does he interact with the rest of society? I don’t even want to imagine it. If we change the definition of marriage to include astronauts, we might as well erase our current definition of the American family.

Luckily, there’s still time to act. The founding fathers established the amendment system so that our constitution would always reflect the most modern, enlightened beliefs. That’s why I support an amendment which bans a minority group from equal protection under the law. Would I support a civil union between astronauts? Maybe. But marriage? Might as well serve the constitution for breakfast.

I mean, what’s next?

Allowing people to marry musicians?

–CJS ’16

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